The Onus Is On You

In this lesson, we focus on how to approach the engineering manager (EM) relationship effectively, emphasizing that our success depends heavily on how we engage, not on our manager doing everything for us.

• We stress that the responsibility for our career growth lies with us, not with our EM; they’re busy, context-switching across many reports, and can’t automatically know our needs or struggles.
• We explain that EMs need clear direction from us—without input, they can’t create opportunities, remove blockers, or advocate on our behalf.
• We compare managers to an API: they won’t initiate action on their own, but when we “call” them with the right inputs, they can be incredibly valuable resources.
• We reinforce that good managers will support us deeply if we engage correctly, but it’s our job to plug in and guide that support.
• We highlight that initiative is one of the most appreciated traits: EMs love working with engineers who proactively identify problems, propose ideas, and seek impact without needing to be pulled along.