Amazon

I didn’t know a coffee maker could make me question my loyalty to my local café, but here we are.

The TurboBrew 5000 looks like something you'd find in a mad scientist's kitchen, but it works. I mean, it really works.

I went from groggy goblin to functioning adult in under 3 minutes.

Pros:

Brews insanely fast (they weren’t kidding with the “Turbo” part).

Built-in grinder that doesn’t sound like a plane taking off.

Touch screen controls that make me feel like I’m operating a spaceship.

Cons:

Slight learning curve (had to watch a YouTube tutorial just to figure out the “Espresso Boost” setting).

The “self-cleaning mode” scared my cat.