Feedback Is A Gift. Seriously

In this lesson, we explore how feedback, especially how we *receive* it, is one of the most important levers for building trust with our engineering manager and accelerating our career growth.

- We highlight that managers are the primary (and often only) source of meaningful feedback, since peers rarely want the discomfort or risk of giving constructive criticism.
- We emphasize that when we first receive feedback, our job is to say **thank you**, avoid defensiveness, and take time to reflect—even if we disagree or feel misunderstood.
- We explain that most feedback contains at least a kernel of truth, and our responsibility is to identify what’s useful and implement changes quickly, then follow up later to show progress.
- We warn that pushing back defensively can permanently shut down future feedback, leaving us “rudderless” with no insight into what to improve.
- We share that the fastest-growing engineers treat feedback as a superpower: they assume good intent, absorb nuance, implement rapidly, and create a virtuous cycle where their manager is eager to invest even more in their growth.

Be Vulnerable

In this lesson, we highlight the importance of vulnerability in building a strong, supportive relationship with an engineering manager—because they can only help us if they understand what we’re going through.

- We stress that EMs can’t read minds; if we’re struggling, whether with a teammate, a project, or something personal, we should tell them so they can protect our well-being at work.
- We explain that good managers act like part-time therapists, and sharing when things are rough allows them to adjust workload, mediate conflicts, or at least offer support.
- We note that vulnerability builds trust, just like in friendships outside of work, and that trust significantly improves how effectively we collaborate.
- We clarify that we shouldn’t overshare, but we also shouldn’t hide everything—sharing selectively helps EMs understand who we are and how to help.
- We reinforce that showing vulnerability increases the “trust meter,” strengthens the partnership, and ultimately unlocks more powerful support from our EM.

Partner, Not A Boss

In this lesson, we talk about shifting the mindset from seeing an engineering manager as an authority figure to treating them as a partner whose incentives align closely with ours, unlocking far more growth and support.

- We emphasize that while EMs have real power (performance reviews, promotions, PIPs), relating to them through fear undermines trust, collaboration, and growth.
- We highlight that both we and our EM share the same fundamental goal: maximizing our impact, because our increased impact directly elevates their team impact.
- We explain that when we grow, deliver more, and navigate the org effectively, our manager looks better—so supporting our development is in their best interest.
- We encourage adopting a peer-like, partnership mentality rather than a hierarchical one, which creates more openness, trust, and meaningful dialogue.
- We reinforce the idea that adding value to our manager—through communication, initiative, and impact—encourages them to reciprocate with resources, advocacy, and opportunities.

Be Very Visible

In this lesson, we focus on the importance of visibility in the IC–manager relationship by making sure our EM always knows what we’re doing, where we’re succeeding, and where we need help.

- We emphasize assuming our EM has *no idea* what we’re working on; their schedule is chaotic, especially for high-performing managers, so visibility must come from us.
- We recommend over-communicating: CCing them on major updates, posting milestones publicly, and adding them as optional attendees to key meetings so they can see our impact firsthand.
- We note that joining high-stakes meetings (like SEV investigations) gives managers direct visibility into our leadership, problem-solving, and alignment skills.
- We highlight that 1:1s are the most valuable channel for surfacing wins, blockers, and complex problems that require “manager API powers.”
- We reinforce that visibility builds organizational reputation and that one of the traits managers value most is strong communication, where bad news early is fine, but surprising bad news is not.

Have A Conversation About Conversation

In this lesson, we explore how to set up a healthy, effective relationship with an engineering manager by having a “meta” conversation early—one that focuses not on tasks, but on how we want to work together.

- We introduce the idea of a personal “README file,” where we proactively explain our background, working style, motivations, and concerns so our EM understands how to support us.
- We emphasize sharing what energizes us and what drains us, giving our manager the context they need to advocate for us and assign work that helps us thrive.
- We suggest regularly reflecting on what’s going well and what isn’t—using 1:1s not just for status updates, but for deeper calibration on collaboration.
- We call out the importance of explicitly discussing how we prefer to receive (and give) feedback, whether direct and verbal or written and reflective.
- We highlight that starting the relationship with these meta conversations sets the foundation for a smoother, more aligned partnership with our EM.

The Onus Is On You

In this lesson, we focus on how to approach the engineering manager (EM) relationship effectively, emphasizing that our success depends heavily on how we engage, not on our manager doing everything for us.

- We stress that the responsibility for our career growth lies with us, not with our EM; they’re busy, context-switching across many reports, and can’t automatically know our needs or struggles.
- We explain that EMs need clear direction from us—without input, they can’t create opportunities, remove blockers, or advocate on our behalf.
- We compare managers to an API: they won’t initiate action on their own, but when we “call” them with the right inputs, they can be incredibly valuable resources.
- We reinforce that good managers will support us deeply if we engage correctly, but it’s our job to plug in and guide that support.
- We highlight that initiative is one of the most appreciated traits: EMs love working with engineers who proactively identify problems, propose ideas, and seek impact without needing to be pulled along.

Engineering Managers Day-To-Day

In this lesson, we break down what an engineering manager’s day-to-day really looks like—why their calendars are packed with meetings, how they handle technical planning, and why the emotional side of the role is often underestimated.

- We highlight that EM calendars are dominated by 1:1s, alignment discussions, and cross-team negotiations, much of which shields us from logistical or resourcing debates.
- We explain that managers need enough technical depth to estimate project scope, evaluate dependencies, and participate meaningfully in planning without writing code themselves.
- We note that much of the real work happens outside meetings—reviewing docs, giving feedback, writing updates, and communicating progress upward to directors and VPs.
- We emphasize that people management is a huge portion of the job: coordinating collaboration, following up for junior engineers, resolving interpersonal issues, and handling performance challenges.
- We discuss the emotional burden managers carry handling compensation, performance ratings, personal struggles, and burnout and how this makes them part-time therapists as well as leaders.

How Engineering Managers Are Evaluated

In this lesson, we walk through how managers are evaluated, what “meeting” versus “exceeding” expectations looks like, and how we as ICs can help them succeed, which in turn helps us.

- We emphasize that a manager’s core responsibility is delivering team impact—not promotions, not firing—so our goal is to help them maximize that impact.
- We learn that strong managers are influential: they build relationships, earn trust, and can meaningfully sway decisions both across and above the team.
- We outline “managing down,” which includes recruiting top engineers, retaining high performers, setting priorities, enabling growth, and dealing directly with low performers through feedback, PIPs, or transitions.
- We highlight the importance of retention as a key evaluation metric—if everyone wants to leave a manager’s team, leadership sees that as a failure.
- We explore “managing up,” where managers frequently provide updates to directors/VPs, take ownership of escalations, and proactively communicate timelines, issues, and product health to leadership.

Engineering Manager Responsibilities

In this lesson, we talk about understanding incentives, especially your manager’s, as a key to navigating your career and collaborating effectively. By assuming people act in their own self-interest, we better understand how managers operate and how to work with them.

- We frame a “model of the world” where we assume people act selfishly, helping us predict behavior and align with our manager’s incentives.
- We note that understanding how an engineering manager is evaluated allows us to help them look good—and in doing so, we benefit too.
- We highlight that the EM role is challenging: they’re responsible for the team’s impact without writing code themselves, focusing instead on empowering and unblocking engineers.
- We clarify that growing engineers is only part of the role—EMs also handle hiring, firing, and performance reviews; sometimes their job is not to help us grow but to manage us out if needed.
- We describe additional responsibilities like removing cross-team blockers, resolving interpersonal issues, and creating team “synergy,” which includes a wide range of people- and process-related challenges.

What Is An Engineering Manager?

In this lesson, we explore what an Engineering Manager (EM) is, what they do, and how understanding their incentives helps us collaborate more effectively.

- We learn that an EM is a leadership role supporting engineers, typically managing 8–12 reports, though team sizes can vary widely.
- We understand that the EM’s primary goal is ensuring the team consistently delivers meaningful impact.
- We recognize that knowing an EM’s core incentives helps us work with them more effectively and collaborate better overall.
- We review the two major career tracks in tech: the IC (individual contributor) track and the M (management) track, which begins with the EM role.
- We note that the EM is the first layer of management, with roles like Director, VP, and CTO above them, and that most of us will report to an EM unless we reach very senior IC levels (e.g., L8/L9).

Tailoring Your Answers

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To deliver unforgettable interview answers, we need to learn how to tailor our responses to match the company, the role, and the specific audience we’re speaking to. This session explains how to adapt our stories based on context, organization type, and our own leadership philosophy—even when we haven’t faced a specific scenario before.

- **Tailor Stories to the Team and Business**
  - We must deeply understand the hiring team and the company’s business context to highlight the most relevant parts of our story.
  - Even small adjustments—altering 10% of a story—can have a big impact in aligning with the company’s values and needs.
- **Adapt Answers Based on Company Type**
  - For example, when answering a question about influencing stakeholders, we need to highlight different dynamics depending on whether it’s a startup (external stakeholders like customers or investors) or a big org (internal cross-functional teams).
  - Similarly, questions about balancing delivery vs. quality should be approached differently for consulting roles (focus on fast delivery and milestones) vs. product roles (focus on long-term impact, maintainability, and operational excellence).
- **Responding to Questions You Haven’t Faced Before**
  - If we haven’t directly experienced a situation (e.g., managing underperformers or doing capacity planning), we should draw on adjacent stories and clearly articulate our leadership philosophy and approach.
  - It’s helpful to describe what we’d do in the first 90 days on the job—such as building a plan or upskilling—and how that reflects our values and learning mindset.
- **Use Leadership Philosophy as a Guide**
  - Our answers should reflect consistent values, such as building high-performing teams, holding people accountable, and prioritizing quality.
  - Even without a direct experience, framing our response through this philosophy helps convey credibility, ownership, and potential.

Getting Extra Help

If you want direct interview support from Alex and Uzair, take their live Maven course with discount code **TARO10**: <https://maven.com/alex-kliotzkin/acing-em-interviews>

Get 1 on 1 coaching from Alex here (mention Taro and get 10% off): <https://www.alexkliotzkin.com/>

To succeed in Engineering Manager interviews, we need to do more than prepare our answers—we must *practice intentionally and iteratively*. This video highlights how structured practice can dramatically improve our communication, clarity, and confidence.

- **Mentally Rehearse with Visualization:** We should regularly visualize being in the interview, anticipating questions, and mentally walking through our stories and responses. This builds fluency and composure.
- **Write Stories for Guidance, Not Scripts:** Documenting our stories helps solidify what we want to say, but we shouldn’t memorize or regurgitate them. The goal is clarity on the *core signals* and themes we want to convey.
- **Record and Review Ourselves:** Watching ourselves on video is uncomfortable but invaluable. It reveals nervous tics, verbosity, or lack of clarity, and helps us iterate quickly.
- **Practice with Others for Realistic Feedback:** Mock interviews with someone—ideally a professional coach—simulate real pressure and provide tailored feedback. This is the most effective way to get interview-ready

How To Crack Any Interview

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To ace any Engineering Manager (EM) interview, we need to go beyond memorized answers and demonstrate a deep, tailored understanding of the role, the company, and the people interviewing us. This final video recap ties together the core strategies we've learned throughout the course.

- **Deeply Understand the Role and the Interviewer**

  - We should thoroughly research the company's culture, the team’s business priorities, and even the interviewer’s background if possible.
  - This helps us anticipate questions and articulate the team’s pain points—making us stand out as someone who already thinks like an insider.

- **Focus on the Intent Behind the Questions**

  - Every question has an underlying purpose. We must listen for the *question behind the question* to understand what trait or leadership ability is being evaluated.
  - Once we’ve identified this, we lead our response with our **engineering management systems** and **leadership philosophies** to show intentionality and maturity.

- **Build and Customize Our Story Bank**

  - We should prepare core EM stories that demonstrate a range of leadership abilities and adverse situations.
  - The goal isn’t perfection but authenticity—sharing how we made decisions, what we learned, and how we’ve grown as a result.

- **Showcase Growth Through Adversity**

  - Most interview questions center around difficult moments. We should use these opportunities to demonstrate emotional maturity, resilience, and our ability to evolve—crucial traits for a leader.

- **Be Convincing and Confident**

  - At the end of the day, we’re not just answering questions—we’re telling a story about why we’re the best fit. We need to sell our value clearly and confidently, grounded in real experience and reflection.

Going From Good To Unforgettable

If you want direct interview support from Alex and Uzair, take their live Maven course with discount code **TARO10**: <https://maven.com/alex-kliotzkin/acing-em-interviews>

To turn our engineering manager interviews from good to unforgettable, we need to move beyond structured responses and tap into a deeper level of storytelling that integrates our leadership philosophy, self-awareness, and clarity of thought. This video teaches us how to do exactly that by weaving together frameworks, personal reflection, and strategic communication.

- **Pair STAR with Philosophy and Frameworks:** We start with the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result), but go deeper by clearly highlighting the conflict in the situation and pairing our actions with leadership philosophies and mental frameworks. This helps reveal not just what we did, but *why* we did it and how we think as leaders.
- **Answer the “Question Behind the Question” (QBQ):** Every interview question has a hidden layer—what the interviewer *really* wants to know. For example, “Have you dealt with underperformance?” isn't just about that event; it’s probing our ability to have hard conversations, uphold standards, and lead consistently.
- **Embed Systems, Frameworks, and Learnings:** Our answers should demonstrate how we operate systematically. For instance, when describing how we mediate conflict, we explain our decision-making framework and show how it was applied in real situations, reinforcing our credibility and maturity as leaders.
- **Think Beyond the Surface:** Questions like “How do you motivate your team?” are really asking about our leadership style, understanding of technical people, and ability to balance individual, team, and org-wide goals. We must address these nuances and explain how motivation is an ongoing, intentional process.
- **Use the EM Interview Formula:** The real formula for standout interviews is *(QBQ) + (Philosophy + Systems + Frameworks) + (Real Story + Learnings).* This holistic approach helps us craft answers that are authentic, insightful, and tailored to what EM interviewers truly care about.
- By leaning into this deeper method, we don’t just pass interviews—we leave a lasting impression.

Embodying The Leader

If you want direct interview support from Alex and Uzair, take their live Maven course with discount code **TARO10**: <https://maven.com/alex-kliotzkin/acing-em-interviews>

In this lesson, we learn how to effectively showcase leadership qualities during engineering manager interviews by understanding the most commonly assessed leadership abilities. Interviewers are assigned specific attributes to evaluate, and crafting thoughtful, real-world stories that highlight these traits is essential.

- **We prepare stories around 9 common leadership abilities**, including growing talent, delivering under pressure, and influencing stakeholders, knowing these form the backbone of most behavioral interview questions.
- **We ensure each story highlights not just outcomes, but the judgment and systems we used**, especially in situations involving conflict, ambiguity, or strategic risk.
- **We practice showcasing our resilience and decision-making**, such as dealing with underperformers, making fast-paced calls under time pressure, or navigating conflict with senior stakeholders.
- **We recognize that good answers require emotional maturity**, thoughtful communication, and the ability to reflect on learnings—not perfection or bravado.
- **We strive to embody senior leadership through our communication style**, avoiding over-explaining, exaggeration, or emotional volatility, and focusing instead on clarity, calmness, and authenticity.

Common Questions

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In this video, we explore the behavioral side of engineering manager (EM) interviews, which focus heavily on leadership abilities. Each question is designed to assess core leadership competencies, and mastering these areas is critical for success.

- **Hiring & Growing Talent**: Interviewers look for evidence of managing underperformers, nurturing strong performers, and navigating hiring and talent review processes.
- **Delivery Under Pressure**: Candidates must demonstrate the ability to lead high-quality project deliveries on tight timelines, despite resource constraints or setbacks.
- **Stakeholder Management & Influence**: Expect to showcase how difficult feedback was delivered or how stakeholders were influenced for team benefit, often through challenging conversations.
- **Conflict Resolution & Judgment**: Questions will probe how candidates handle internal or external conflicts, as well as how strategic decisions were made with limited data.
- **Vision & Execution**: Interviewers want to hear about setting long-term vision, taking calculated risks, digging deep into complex problems, and operating effectively across all levels.

STAR

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Engineering manager interviews focus heavily on **behavioral assessments**, and using a structured response framework like **STAR** can help clearly demonstrate leadership competencies and impact. STAR stands for **Situation, Task, Action, and Result** and is widely recommended for leadership roles due to its clarity and depth.

- **Situation**: Set the context of your story—when, where, and why it happened—so the interviewer understands the environment and background.
- **Task**: Define your responsibility in that situation and any challenges you faced while addressing it.
- **Action**: Detail the specific steps *you personally* took, what you owned, and how you worked with others.
- **Result**: End with measurable outcomes like cost savings, quality improvements, time to market, or customer/team impact. Show the success and its scale.

Homework: Define Your Engineering Management System

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To answer engineering manager (EM) behavioral interview questions effectively, it’s essential to clearly articulate your **leadership style and decision-making frameworks**. Interviewers expect thoughtful, structured responses that show how you operate as a leader across the core responsibilities of the role.

- **Three Core EM Responsibilities**: Every EM must deliver results, lead the team, and manage stakeholders. You must show systems and habits that support all three.
- **Delivery Systems**: Explain how you ensure *sustainable delivery*—using tools like KPIs, OKRs, sprint metrics, dashboards, and demolocation strategies.
- **Team Leadership**: Be ready to share your approach to building *high-performance cultures*, setting team structures, conducting 1:1s, growing individuals, and setting vision and expectations.
- **Stakeholder Management**: Detail how you *influence and align* stakeholders—through communication systems, relationship building, regular reporting, and rituals like syncs and buy-ins.

Writing down these frameworks helps reinforce your leadership identity and provides a solid foundation for compelling interview storytelling. Let me know if you’d like help turning this into a worksheet or practice guide.

Team Dynamics

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To stand out in EM interviews, it’s not enough to understand the company—you also need to empathize with the **team’s specific challenges**. By researching and anticipating what the team needs, you can tailor your answers to resonate with the hiring manager and demonstrate high potential fit.

- **Put Yourself in the Hiring Manager’s Shoes**: Use empathy to analyze what the team is responsible for and what challenges might be preventing sustainable delivery.
- **Anticipate Common Team Challenges**: These may include stakeholder alignment in large orgs, speed in startups, product robustness, scaling issues, or even interpersonal conflicts like team infighting.
- **Showcase Relevant Experience**: Prepare stories from your own background that reflect how you’ve solved similar problems or would approach the challenges facing this specific team.
- **Turn the Interview into a Conversation**: Ask insightful questions to learn more about the team’s current pain points. This shows curiosity, initiative, and models what working with you would be like.

Business Dynamics

If you want direct interview support from Alex and Uzair, take their live Maven course with discount code **TARO10**: <https://maven.com/alex-kliotzkin/acing-em-interviews>

Many engineers struggle with engineering manager (EM) interviews because they underestimate how different they are from individual contributor (IC) roles. This course aims to prepare candidates for the unique expectations, mindset, and evaluation criteria involved in EM interviews.

- **Shift in Role and Expectations**: Transitioning from IC to EM is not just a promotion but a full career change, requiring a shift from deep technical implementation to broad people and strategy responsibilities.
- **Interview Criteria Differences**: For EM roles, **80% of the evaluation is behavioral** (trust, leadership, communication) and only 20% is technical (system design, operational excellence), the reverse of IC interviews.
- **Understanding the Hiring Manager's World**: EM interviewers, typically directors or above, prioritize reliability, trust, emotional maturity, and ownership. Candidates must show they can simplify complexity and manage uncertainty.
- **Research and Business Alignment**: Successful candidates understand the business context of the role (e.g., quality for physical products, speed for startups, security for regulated industries) and tailor their answers accordingly.
- **Empowerment Over Expertise**: EMs don’t need to be the most technical on the team. Their primary responsibility is to ensure the team delivers by empowering others and focusing on strategic growth and impact.

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