Nokia

They try not to fire anyone and keep everyone on board as long as possible.

It's primarily a social institute for people who momentarily value comfort over making the world go forward.

If you don't want to work, but want to earn a lot of money, Nokia is the place to go.

If Agile is your life and you care more about doing Agile right than about user satisfaction, Nokia is the way to go.

Nokia's culture is about positive feedback; negative feedback is not allowed.

Want to have a beer at the office during working hours? Nokia is the place to go.

POs try to prove their existence, as the whole company is over-staffed, especially on management.

Everyone has an iPhone or an Android. They don't care about their own phones; it's just a job.

If you want to work, the others won't let you.

As a direct result of being a social institute, it's full of idiots who'll get their idiot friends hired.

If there's a clearly good decision and a clearly bad decision, management will unanimously go with the bad one. If you ask them why, one-by-one, each of them will tell you they wanted to go the other way but decided against it as a community.

It's impossible to retrieve documentation for anything.

No one is held accountable for anything. So, there are plans daily and 3-weekly, and they're never checked if they're met.

Deadlines pass by. I've known projects to be 400% late (no kidding) of every single estimation on how long it should take.

"Oh, we won't be ready for MWC - perhaps try Nokia World?" "Oh, we won't be ready for Nokia World - perhaps try MWC next year."

I guess you're only there so that you keep the most people on salary (let's be honest: including yourself) for the longest period of time possible.