Why Becoming A Good Engineering Manager Is So Hard

Becoming an engineering manager (EM) is a major career shift that’s both difficult to achieve and hard to excel at. This video outlines why the role is rare, what background is typically required, and how drastically different it is from being a software engineer.

- **EMs are in short supply**: The pool of strong engineering managers is even smaller than that of strong engineers, making it hard for companies to hire great EMs.
- **Strong engineering background is essential**: Most capable EMs started out as senior or staff-level engineers, often operating as tech leads before transitioning into management.
- **High entry barriers**: Given the requirement for both technical excellence and people skills, very few engineers are qualified to move into the EM role.
- **Only 20% skill transfer**: On average, just a fifth of the skills from a software engineering background apply directly to engineering management—making the job feel brand new.
- **Steep learning curve**: Many new EMs are surprised at how little their past experience as engineers prepares them for the demands of management, which requires a vastly different skill set.

Related resources:

- [\[Taro Top 10\] Software Engineer To Engineering Manager (IC -&gt; M Track)](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/oz0mnJvHHgM8NfVF7rgp/)
- [\[Case Study\] Mentoring Junior SWEs \[E3\] to Senior \[E5\] In Just 2.5 Years At Meta](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/EX9563YnxcJb62cCmetg/case-study-mentoring-junior-swes-e3-to-senior-e5-in-just-25-years-at-meta/)

DSA Interview Step #1: Clarify The Problem

- The first step for any data structures and algorithms (DSA) problem is to *clarify the problem*. This means understanding exactly what the input and expected output are.
  - A common failure mode for candidates is that they will jump straight into coding, not doing this step. This leads to them wasting a lot of time writing code that isn't actually relevant.
- Often times in an interview, you will get a purposefully ambiguous problem - This happens with Big Tech a lot. The goal is get signal on the candidate's communication abilities.
- Clarifying the problem can help you *a lot* as it's very possible that the problem's scope is much more limited than you initially thought.

Related resources:
- [[Taro Top 10] Effective Interview Prep](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/HLBYxJI7D1j8STolrwum/)
- [[Taro Top 10] Finding A Tech Job](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/E6R0wVJ5EyCfVnVrlfno/)

Make It Easy For You To Receive Help

True or false: If you ask for help on a coding issue, link the entire repo of the codebase you are working on to be safe. This guarantees that helpers have all the context they need.

What can you do to really sharpen your question before asking it?

"I am having trouble getting a button to appear above an image in my webpage. Can someone help with this?" - Which of the following are questions that should have been anticipated beforehand for this question?

How To REALLY Say Thank You To Coworkers

Most software engineers struggle with building relationships and professional networking overall. One of the ways to get better at this is improving an often-neglected skill: Giving thanks. This video covers one of the most powerful ways to give thanks in the workplace.

Here are the core points:
- **Reward good work through their manager** - As an authority figure, praise coming from your manager is especially meaningful and it's a great experience when it happens. Spend effort adding weight to your feedback when you tell their manager by writing a heartfelt paragraph or telling them in person (this is really easy when you share the same manager as the peer, which is often the case). Thanking the helper directly yourself first is the first step: This manager reinforcement step is what really makes them realize, *"Wow, this person **really** wants to make sure I get rewarded for my efforts."*
- **Boost your peers' performance reviews** - At a higher level, you really earn your way into coworkers' hearts when they attribute you to a boost in their own performance rating. This is especially true at top companies like FAANG which have such a high-bar for engineer performance and good ratings are connected to very meaningful raises and promotions. If someone is helping you on a recurring basis, you can even explicitly tell their manager that you really hope they get rewarded on their performance review for uplifting you and really multiplying your impact. *Fight for the credit you ardently believe they deserve.*

Related resources:
- [Effective Communication Guide - Building Relationships](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/488EjOLzU707WhdqMOK4/effective-communication-guide-part-3-building-relationships/)
- ["How do you network effectively within a company?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/DwT9GtdYK9nwFV3a7jrU/how-do-you-network-effectively-within-a-company/)

Engineering Manager Feedback Example: Good vs. Bad

This segment provides a powerful comparison between poor and effective feedback in engineering management, particularly around the challenge of slow code review cycles. It emphasizes how quality feedback should be empathetic, actionable, and grounded in broader principles to foster growth.

- **Bad feedback is vague and unhelpful**: Simply stating “your code isn’t merging fast enough—fix it” lacks empathy, specifics, and any guidance on how to actually improve the situation.
- **Good feedback is empathetic and constructive**: The improved example acknowledges the *team’s* perspective, suggesting the engineer break up large diffs to make reviews easier and faster, thus benefiting everyone.
- **Actionable steps are clearly defined**: Rather than just pointing out a problem, the feedback offers a tangible next step—submit smaller, more digestible diffs.
- **Feedback includes operating principles**: It reframes code reviews as a shared team activity, encouraging engineers to think like editors and consider the reviewer experience—empowering them to continuously improve without needing micro-managed lists.
- **Nuance and context matter**: Effective feedback often requires more thoughtful, detailed communication—brevity shouldn’t come at the cost of clarity or support.

What Rockstar Engineers Realize About Managers That Others Don't

- Don't view your manager as just a boss. It's true that they have authority over you, but they are *also a resource for you*.
- This means that there's also a burden on you to find out how your manager can best support and empower you.
  - What skills do you want to grow?
  - Which projects are on their top of mind and therefore have the great impact?
- This working model is best for everyone. You are essentially finding out how you can be the most effective and impactful report for your manager as possible. Your manager gets a more empowered and efficient team, and you get career growth.

Building Software For Optimal Learning Example - Login Flow

A lot of junior engineers wonder why they have working software projects on their resume but aren't able to get a job. 99% of the time, it's because the projects they have built aren't anywhere near production quality.

This video covers an in-depth, concrete example of how you can level up a feature to be truly impressive in a portfolio:
- Bad login flow (bare minimum only):
  - Email input
  - Password input
  - Submit button which probably stores inputs on the server
- Good login flow (additional components on top of the above)
  - Ability to view the password in plaintext
  - Confirm password
  - Validate email
  - Password strength protections
  - "Forgot your password?" flow
  - Password hashing
  - Login attempt throttling

Related resources:
- [[Masterclass] How To Learn Quickly In Tech](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/u9ldIvrTvV1wfWExccDR/masterclass-how-to-learn-quickly-in-tech/) - The full video this clip was taken from
- [How The Best Software Engineers Learn - The Lego Model](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/9cVK5zsAQstbTCc1wrWx/how-the-best-software-engineers-learn-the-lego-model/)

The Most Dangerous Thing People Don't Realize About FAANG

So many engineers focus on just the interview when it comes to breaking into Big Tech. However, cracking the FAANG interview isn't the main thing you should worry about: *Surviving at Big Tech is what's truly hard.*

Here are the core point from the video:
- **Big Tech expectations are very high** - In exchange for world-class pay, you are expected to have world-class productivity. For most engineers coming from non-Big Tech backgrounds, they're going to have to put out more work that's also higher quality compared to what they've normally done.
- **It can be hard to adjust** - This is especially relevant if you spent a very long time (10+ years) working at companies that weren't as cutting edge as Big Tech prior to going there. It is very difficult to do things in a completely different way to what you're very used to.
- **Performance review is stressful** - Since these companies are so big and have so much process, performance reviews are incredibly thorough and take a long time. It often takes months to write and collect all the feedback necessary to compute the final rating. Couple this with fear of PIP and stack ranking and you have an environment that really puts engineers on edge.

Related resources:
- [[Masterclass] How To Navigate Your Performance Review In Tech](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/b0B8uqIAUnBLE10jJHJG/masterclass-how-to-navigate-your-performance-review-in-tech/)
- ["What's the difference between a low performer software engineer and a high performer?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/nMxx2EMVIlJbl1oK4SGu/whats-the-difference-between-a-low-performer-software-engineer-and-a-high-performer/)

How To Quickly Understand Company Culture - Airbnb Example

Culture is more than what people say. It's about how things get done in the company. The best way to ramp up on a company's culture is to observe what people do and talk to as many people as possible when you first join.

Rachel also talks about the 2 unique aspects of Airbnb's culture: 
1. Mission-driven (as opposed to tech, sales, or founder driven)
2. Incorporating the best of different companies

If you want to learn more about how to understand an org/company and build up influence within it, here's some related resources:
- ["How do I sell the vision behind a large, org-level project?"](https://link.jointaro.com/ESa5WJyk682iwqJt9)
- ["How can I build up more influence in an org?"](https://link.jointaro.com/GVYFUhx46N2QWVeZ7)

The Real Pros And Cons Of Working At FAANG And Big Tech

Working at FAANG and Big Tech is general is put on a pedestal by the vast majority of the industry, but it's not all sunshine and roses. Here's the complete pictures:
- Pros:
  - **Prestige** - If you don't already have one of these names on your resume, adding one makes it 10x better automatically.
  - **Compensation** - This one is the most obvious: These companies pay extremely well.
  - **Consistent foundation** - The biggest one is the learning, especially for earlier-in-career software engineers. It is hard to go into these companies, do well there for a couple years, and not come out as a significantly better engineer. You will get more consistency by setting a baseline for your compensation and level.
- Cons:
  - **Hard to find scope** - In particular, growing to senior can be difficult. So many of the hard technical problems at these companies are already solved, and there are thousands of super talented software engineers looking for scope as well.
  - **You're just a cog in the machine** - At FAANG, you are one talented engineer out of literally 10,000+. The majority of engineers will be doing very incremental work that doesn't feel very fulfilling - There are literally engineers whose job it is to optimize a single button. This is all very connected to the aforementioned con of not being able to find scope.
  - **Work-life balance is dicey** - These companies pay you well for a reason: The bar is high. It can be stressful and tiring to meet expectations, especially if you're transitioning from a non-FAANG company.
- It's also important to remember that you need a much more holistic set of skills on top of coding most of the time to succeed at these companies. For many, this is a pro as it leads to more well-rounded growth, but for others who want to focus more on being builders, it can be incredibly draining.

For a deeper look into what life at FAANG is actually like, join us for our upcoming event: [Should You Work At FAANG? - What Big Tech Is Like For Software Engineers](https://www.jointaro.com/event/should-you-work-at-faang-what-big-tech-is-like-for-software-engineers/)

This clip was taken from our [1.5 hour masterclass on finding the best company/team for you, which you can click here to watch](https://link.jointaro.com/F4DDyKfuo3hMhj868).

Related resources:
- [Why You Should Start Your Career At A Big Tech Company](https://link.jointaro.com/9k3HkgfJsTp1Nd2w5)
- ["What's the difference between Big Tech and startups in terms of learning and growth?"](https://link.jointaro.com/n57gbTWERveGTQuM9)

20 Years Of Fighting Procrastination [Part 1] - Rahul's History With Procrastination

Welcome to our "20 Years Of Fighting Procrastination In 1 Hour" course! Here are the core points from the lesson:

- Your instructor Rahul Pandey goes through his personal experience struggling to get stuff done (and learning how to fix that)
- Focus on building systems that make it easy to do the right thing and hard to do the wrong thing, rather than relying on willpower
- The advice is tailored for people with autonomy over their time, not for those in reactive or manager-style roles

Manager vs. Maker schedule: <https://paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html>

Top System Design Interview Mistakes [Part 16] - Outro

Congratulations on making it to the end of the course! If you have any thoughts, we would love to hear them over at [Formation.dev](https://formation.dev/partners/taro):

- Connect with me (Sophie) on LinkedIn: <https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophienovati/>
- Follow [Formation.dev](https://formation.dev/partners/taro) on LinkedIn: <https://www.linkedin.com/company/formation-dev/>

As a reminder, if you need extra help with your system design interview, Formation can provide you hands-on, personalized support. Join us here: <https://formation.dev/partners/taro>

Now that you've mastered the system design interview, check out our behavioral interview course next: [\[Course\] Master The Behavioral Interview As A Software Engineer](https://www.jointaro.com/course/master-the-behavioral-interview-as-a-software-engineer/)

Maximize Your Productivity As A Software Engineer [Part 2] - The Productivity Giant You Are Missing

When it comes to productivity, most software engineers have the completely incorrect strategy of simply working harder. This isn't sustainable and misses the forest for the trees. This lesson teaches you:

- The true highest leverage thing you can do when it comes to your productivity, explained with an example from Meta and Google
- Why working on the right things is much better than just working on your current things faster

Here's the promotion course: [\[Course\] Nail Your Promotion As A Software Engineer](https://www.jointaro.com/course/nail-your-promotion-as-a-software-engineer/)

Master The Behavioral Interview [Part 1] - How This Course Works

Let's not mince words: Most software engineers are pretty terrible at behavioral interviews. Unlike interview types like data structures & algorithms (DSA) and system design, behavioral interviews are purely open-ended. Here are the core parts of the lesson:

- Your instructor [Alex Chiou](https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexander-chiou/) walks you through his extensive 10+ year Silicon Valley background across top companies like PayPal, Course Hero, Meta, and Robinhood, explaining how ultra-sharpening his behavioral interview skills played a huge part in his career success. His reward? Growing from $85k TC to $750k in just 7 years!
- How software engineers throw their careers by from over-indexing on LeetCode grinding instead of developing more balanced interview expertise, particularly with behavioral interviews
- We walk you through the course objectives. By the end of the course, you will have the right mentality to answer *any* behavioral question well, understand what a good behavioral answer looks like (vs. a bad one), use the right tactics to prepare, possess the skills to vet the company, and know what behavioral performances look like across different levels

To learn more about Alex's interview success journey and overall job searching tactics, check out his master job searching course: [\[Course\] Ace Your Tech Interview And Get A Job As A Software Engineer](https://www.jointaro.com/course/ace-your-tech-interview-and-get-a-job-as-a-software-engineer/)

Effective Communication Guide [Part 3.2] - Deep Listening

- *Communication isn't just how you share information, it's also about how you take in information.*
- It is crucial to listen intently, especially during 1 on 1s. A lot of people don't realize that there's a large skill range when it comes to listening.
- How to show that you're engaged:
  - Lean in
  - Nod to acknowledge core points
  - For something heavier, you can say "Mmhmm".
- A very powerful way to gain trust is to listen to people's problems and acknowledge them. A lot of people when they're faced with a problem, their initial goal isn't to actually solve the problem: It's just to find someone who will listen to their pain and feel less alone.
  - Just saying something along the lines of "Dang, that sucks" can go a long way.
  - Letting someone know that you have also faced this problem is also very effective. It builds solidarity and can help combat imposter syndrome as a lot of people are afraid that they are the only one facing the problem they have due to their own lack of ability.
- Revel in people's wins with them! Respond to people's excitement and positive energy with your own.

The Best Managers Acquire Power To Give It Away

- Even though the manager is an authority figure, the best engineering managers *acquire power to give it away*.
- What this means is they will establish ownership over a space and then give control of it to an engineer on their team to help them grow. This is especially important growing engineers to senior levels and beyond.
- By making the engineers on the team share authority, the team becomes more resilient, so that it doesn't collapse when the manager is out.
- Alex's Instagram example:
  - The oncall in his org was very weak and unhealthy.
  - His manager got the ball rolling and collected a working group of senior+ engineers and managers to align on the problem and agree to solving it.
  - After his manager established a sphere of influence here, they handed it over to Alex to lead the entire effort and successfully revamp the oncall system for ~25 mobile engineers.
  - Manager easily could have led this effort themselves but chose to delegate to Alex, so that he could build authority in this area.

Related resources:
- ["Why would a senior make themselves replaceable?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/b5eUTVq4m9ANQ5QCUc3q/why-would-a-senior-make-themselves-replaceable/)
- [Why Great Engineering Managers Are Like Captain America](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/a9s0fUXIWxm8sPigvXnL/why-great-engineering-managers-are-like-captain-america/)
- [What Makes A Truly Great Tech Lead - A VP of Engineering's Perspective](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/uHqZZ15SK19MatEvLSO6/what-makes-a-truly-great-tech-lead-a-vp-of-engineerings-perspective/)

Start Your Day By Eating The Frog

When it comes to productivity, what is eating the frog?

True or false: To ease into your day, the best thing to do when you wake up is something easy and fun like checking your Instagram.

One Of The Biggest Tech Career Killers: Not Being Truly Great With Feedback

Feedback is the primary fuel for you to improve. Despite this, most engineers (and most people in general) are far worse at taking feedback than they think they are.

Here are the core points from the video:
- **Be very appreciative of your manager's feedback** - Your manager is the main source of feedback for you (it's literally their job). Your goal is to create a virtuous cycle where your manager wants to keep giving you feedback as you make the experience smooth.
- **Be accepting of non-perfect feedback** - It is very rare for feedback to be 100% accurate. Search hard for a kernel of truth in the feedback, and if you can find it, you should cherish that overall feedback.
- **Be extremely careful being defensive** - This is a 1-way door. Sharing feedback is awkward. If your response to getting feedback is to make the situation weird and be the slightest bit defensive, that person will likely never give you feedback ever again.
- **Ingesting feedback has a high skill ceiling** - It's way, way, way higher than almost everybody thinks. The most talented engineer Alex ever worked with got promoted from E3 new-grad to E6 (Staff) at Meta in less than 3 years. One of the main reasons behind that stellar growth trajectory is that they were able to process feedback extremely efficiently, almost always implementing it the week after they got it.

Related resources:
- ["Can someone elaborate on "always treating feedback as a gift"?](https://www.jointaro.com/question/4DoEnMIq2ISadfAJuwp9/can-someone-elaborate-on-always-treating-feedback-as-a-gift/)
- [[Taro Top 10] Software Engineer To Engineering Manager (IC -> M Track)](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/oz0mnJvHHgM8NfVF7rgp/)
- [[Masterclass] What Software Engineers Should Look For In Their Engineering Manager](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/oeY7ncZhzJ5NO6dij5e7/masterclass-what-software-engineers-should-look-for-in-their-engineering-manager/)

[Case Study] Revamping Oncall For 20 Instagram Engineers - Senior to Staff Project

Oncall is a critical process for any good engineering team, especially larger ones. However, a lot of software engineers aren't truly exposed to oncall until several years into their career. This detailed case study covers what a healthy oncall looks like and how ex-Instagram tech lead Alex led his organization towards that.

This session covered a *lot* of ground, so we'll focus more on the learnings instead of the historical story:
- **Good oncall ingredients**
  - Very strong sense of ownership expected from the current oncall - The buck should stop with them
  - A detailed runbook and thorough documentation in general around SLAs, SEV criteria, and ownership
  - 7 to 12 engineers on the rotation so you're only oncall <15% of the time
  - A retrospective process that brings together the team to share knowledge and figure out how to improve their systems as a whole
- **Pain = Opportunity** - Never say *"That's just the way it is"*: Every problem is solvable. If you want to level up fast, strive to alleviate pain at scale for your team instead of running away from it. Here's a great discussion covering this concept in more detail: ["Ways to add value when asked “What do you think would be biggest challenges for next quarter?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/zYbkS5Bn00H9RGKiiL4F/ways-to-add-value-when-asked-what-do-you-think-would-be-biggest-challenges-for-next-quarter/)
- **It's All About Relationships** - This is especially important at senior and staff engineering levels. In order to change process and push big projects, you need to get many people to agree with you. Understand that these relationships take time to grow and you need to start as early as possible. Check out this masterclass to deep-dive into this: [[Masterclass] How To Build Deep Relationships Quickly In Tech](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/tyaPFMXPoz2pmzB7OVzt/masterclass-how-to-build-deep-relationships-quickly-in-tech/)
- **Understand Everyone's Incentives** - They will be very different for people who aren't on your team or aren't engineers. As a tech lead, you are expected to work across XFN boundaries regularly, and succeeding at this requires understanding what drives everyone and finding mutual interests.
- **Lead By Example** - Put yourself on the line and practice what you preach. A disconnect between what you're recommending and your own actions is one of the easiest ways to sabotage your own influence.
- **Stand On The Shoulders Of Giants** - At Big Tech companies in particular, there will always be hundreds of other engineers in the company who have already solved the problem you are currently working on. There is no need to reinvent the wheel - Seek out those people and learn from them.

Related resources:
- ["How to form a healthy on-call rotation?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/8OuTidxuVaeuQCV28IhD/how-to-form-a-healthy-on-call-rotation/)
- ["How can I improve the unstructured, chaotic oncall rotation I'm on?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/ScxFpybXXC90qmnLEU7A/how-can-i-improve-the-unstructured-chaotic-oncall-rotation-im-on/)
- ["How can I maintain work-life balance with a hectic oncall?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/WLqDVZQa8rAEmFEl15oA/how-can-i-maintain-work-life-balance-with-a-hectic-oncall/)
- [Presentation slides](https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/19PpKY5VoRAP8OMhu2shwhLthKiodw5cUruk6Lycelho/edit?usp=sharing)

The Most Important Thing To Do After You Get Laid Off

As a software engineer, you naturally have a lot of leverage as a highly sought after, highly-skilled worker. If you end up getting laid off, take the opportunity to use that leverage and seriously think about bettering your future.

Here are the core points:
- **Take the time to introspect about career direction** - When you're working, it's way too easy to get lost in the hustle and just trudge from project to project. After you're laid off, you now have the mental freedom to really think about where you want to go with your career. This will take at least several days, maybe even weeks. Try to envision what the perfect job looks like to you and make that your goal. Ask yourself where you want to be 5 or 10 years from now.
- **Think about what makes you happy** - This sounds cliched, but it's 100% true. There's no point min-maxing your compensation and level if you're fundamentally unhappy while doing it. The tech industry is such a broad space: There is a right opportunity for everybody where they can grow their career and be happy while doing it. But in order to get that opportunity, you need to discover what genuine passions you have.

Related resources:
- [[Masterclass] How To Choose A Good Company And Team As A Software Engineer](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/0WEmTNZOMIh8xAdfO3JH/masterclass-how-to-choose-a-good-company-and-team-as-a-software-engineer/)
- [Figuring Out The Best Company To Join As A Software Engineer](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/Nqs0U6rt2qFyXKSZurTh/figuring-out-the-best-company-to-join-as-a-software-engineer/)
- ["How do I know what I'm great at?](https://www.jointaro.com/question/hksE5OSxktWdbnQQFdaT/how-do-i-know-what-im-great-at/)

Tech Career Growth Videos

Our instructional videos provide software engineers with insights needed for career growth. Masterclasses go incredibly in-depth on a specific tech topic while case studies are real examples from established engineering leaders.