Gusto

• Pretty offices
• Good food
• Might be right for you if you're the right sort of person

• Pretends to be a good company for underrepresented minorities, but isn't really that different from other companies. When you air concerns, the response is "but Gusto is perfect!"

• Ever elusive "culture." They sell this sort of amazing, friendly, family-like culture to get you in to the company, but the reality of the "culture" is that people are just super gossipy and there is a lot of workplace drama. (And no, they don't actually really care about you, duh.)

• It really depends on whether you fit in the basic, bland, outgoing, always happy, a little narcissistic Gusto personality. If you do, yes, you'll find a family here. If you don't, they will see you as a "problem" and try to "Gustofy" you (our performance reviews are called "Gustofied" for a reason). It's actually kind of terrifying.

• Code is a mess; it's really difficult to get anything done because of all the hoops you have to jump through.

• If you air a concern, they try to fix YOU for daring to think there is a problem, because leadership cannot possibly be wrong.

None. I know you won't listen.