I feel like I am basically surviving it was not like this before how should I change it?

Unfortunately, this is a classic case of burnout from a bad job 😔

Here's the advice I have on making this better:

• Ameliorate the pressure - I talk about this in-depth in this Q&A. A little bit of pressure from ambitious targets can be good, but if it's overly sustained over a very long period of time, the human mind eventually wears down. Tactics like prioritizing your work away, increasing focus, and changing your mentality (covered in the Q&A) can help here.
• Anchor your work against your strengths - (And away from your weaknesses). So many engineers don't take the time to properly reflect to really realize what they enjoy and what they hate. Here's a video I made on how to do that. Figuring this out is so powerful as it lets you consciously invest more in doing the things you love. I hit burnout at Meta due to the pandemic and 100% remote work, and something that kept me sane was building deep relationships via mentorship as that's something I simply love doing. Can you find the equivalent of that?
• Improve your work-life balance - Often times, you are your own worst enemy when it comes to this. Maybe you can find a way to set cleaner boundaries here? Here's my advice on how to do that.
• Switch teams or companies (obviously) - Unfortunately, this will often be the best solution: This was the solution for me when I was feeling burnt out at Portal. Since you enjoy solving Leetcode problems with your friend, you are well-positioned to do this 😁