How do you stop feeling like youre constantly behind?

Question

I feel I had all these expectations of where I would want my career to go, and naturally life happens.

I feel I have arbitrary deadlines setup like

"I need to hit Y level within X YoE"

"get into <prestigious company> by Y age"

"Do XYZ before im 30"

and more generally its just a self imposed pressure of I need to be doing all these things before I hit a certain age and if I dont I'm going to be behind

And I'm realizing this is a very toxic way of thinking and I'm looking for advice on how to stop this mentality?

Rahul Pandey · Accepted Answer

Weird answer maybe, but this is why I've enjoyed building side projects. In a medium or large company, I often felt I didn't have as much control over projects, my teammates, or my manager. But for a side project, you have complete control, and there's a purity around what you're trying to do: make something people want. (also the motto of YC...)

No metrics to gain, no promotion committee to get approval from, pass some arbitrary interview process, etc. Focusing on the "real" work reminds me why I love being an engineer. The direct impact is hard to beat.

A few good threads on this topic:

How do you stop feeling like youre constantly behind?

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