Reducing stress and reducing emotional responses

Not sure what the context is here, but one trick I find useful is buy time for yourself to collect your thoughts and calm down. For example, let's say you are talking with someone, and they say something that bothers you. Do the following:

• Say, "I'm sorry. I didn't quite understand. Could you repeat that?"
• Don't listen to their answer. Use the time they are repeating themselves to calm down. Think about their perspective. Why did they say that? Are they trying to help you? Is it feedback? Is it a comment on my work or on me personally? Most likely, it will be a comment on something you did or worked on, and not on you as a person. Given that, you should take their comment as feedback on your work, and not on you.
• Thank them for their comment/feedback.

I think in general emotional responses happen when you feel that your value as a person is tied to the work you do, so when someone comments on your work, it feels like a personal attack. You need to divorce your self-worth from your work in order to have a better work/life mindset.

I think I know the exact connection between stress and emotional responses here. I am assuming you had a stressful experience and decided to react emotionally. Happens to me every day, so welcome to my world.

I have a three-step tactic to deal with it.

1. Stressor - I identify the stressor. I make it very clear to myself that the 'stressor' is the only reason I am stressed and there's not a whole host of reasons I am stressed/dissatisfied at this moment in time.
2. Stress-chains - Stress begets stress. Many times, if you have a stressful team/manager, you tend to get stressed yourself. Your stakeholders, similarly, experience your stress 'aura' too. I am very conscious of this, and in the first situation, I make it clear to the other party that I am stressed without mincing words. Something along the lines of, "this stresses me out", or "I am a bit confused/misdirected here, and that's driving my stress levels up". This gives the other person the impression that you are an emotional person. So be it! I'd rather be in a workplace that acknowledges how I feel. Open acknowledgement of stress/overwork/lack of traction has been very helpful for me. Most people in my immediate team are aware I call this out, and if anything, my performance has only gotten better. The moment you do this, the overall stress being propagated in any scenario reduces, and therefore, people in general become less stressed. And more pleasant to work with :)
3. Acknowledgement - Emotional reactions are normal and should be expected within reasonable bounds. I understand the whole Stoicism movement, but I see no point in hiding my emotions, esp when it affects my productivity. Acknowledging my emotional reaction has helped me achieve A) better catharsis from the emotional freedom I get when I express what I feel, and B) helped me develop SUPERHERO levels of mindfulness, focus and empathy. I don't feel most stressors now because I have consciously identified them in the past and addressed them.

Hope that helps