How can I get a new mentor within my org at Meta without making it weird?
Context:
I started at Meta last year. I'm trying to get to the next level, but my mentor doesn't have time for me anymore and he is also focused on getting his own promotion. Whenever I ask some questions which are not noob questions, he usually just tells me to figure it out myself. Most times, I feel like I don't even have a mentor. I really feel like I need another mentor, but I don't want it to feel weird if I tell my manager I want another mentor.
Question: I want to have another mentor. How can I get a new mentor within the company or the same org?
Discussion
(7 comments)- 2a month agoBackend SWE
If he tells you to figure it out yourself that probably means he doesn’t know the answer / doesn’t have strong thoughts on it. If we were coworkers and you asked me how to mix purple paint I’d go into a 5 minute description but if you asked a coworker who’s not a painter they’d probably tell you to look it up yourself.
If that mentor is no longer a fit, chances are you both sense it. You can have a meeting with them and ask “hi thank you for all your help, I know youve been pretty busy and I’m wondering if we’d like to put our mentoring sessions on pause? I enjoy our sessions so please reach back out when you feel youre ready, and in the meanwhile I’m going to meet other people I can mutually learn from.” So you formally off board with them.
Afterward or in the meanwhile, you can ask your manager for another mentor. If you ask your manager before you off-board let your manager know youve yet to have that meeting on so that they don’t spill the beans before you do.
Outside of formally asking your manager, I would also request 1:1s with people in your org and ask them about the work they do. If you like them, at the end you can ask them for regular occurring sessions with a termination (eg “meet weekly for a month” and then cross the bridge of continuing or not when you get there) where you can pick their brain and also help be a rubber duck for the things they’re working through. For example, the fact that I’m thinking thru and writing out a response to this has reminded me that I can also set up 1on1s with people in my org and forage for mentors that I have initial rapport with that I’d like to develop.
In my opinion, a mentorship is where there’s a primarily flow of info from one person to another but both should be learning and benefiting from the session. As a mentee you should be an inspiration and share your perspectives as well, and be their ear to their ground. Daresay canary in the goldmine lol.
Even at the Taro meetup, I shared what the current team match process looks like at Meta with Alex and Rahul so they can stay up to date with my position.
- 012 days agoEntry-Level Software Engineer [E3] [OP]Meta
Thank you Trisha and Alex. I officially got a new mentor!
- 1
a month agoEmployee @ RobinhoodYeah it's fine to ask your manager for another mentor: I know someone at Meta who did that because they weren't getting along with their mentor.
- 1
a month agoTech Lead @ Robinhood, Meta, Course HeroIt's important to remember that being at Meta right now is very stressful, and as the company says, "Assume good intent". Being extremely busy is a very valid reason a mentor is deprioritizing a mentee - That mentor could even be fighting off PIP right now.
All that being said, asking for another mentor seems fine (assuming it's a been a while since your current mentor was assigned). Just tell your manager that your current mentor is way too busy.
What I recommend doing though is flipping the mentality from "I need to find a mentor" to "I'll make a mentor want to choose me as a mentee". Follow the advice here: "How does one attract a sponsor who is invested in their growth?"
I highly recommend the question asking course as well if you haven't taken it. For E3s in particular (understandably), I saw a lot of them struggle to get the support they needed as they weren't asking sharp enough questions. Here's the course: Ask Great Questions That Get Great Answers Quickly
- 2a month agoBackend SWE
Thanks for linking the courses and for framing it as making yourself a person that people enjoy helping!
I’m onboarding and I’m scared to ask questions (esp since my team has a 0->1 feature launch next week…). I wanna bother people in a way that doesn’t make me feel like a bother, so understanding how to do that in an interesting and respectful way is super relevant to me as well.
- 0a month agoBackend SWE
Fto the course isn’t opening in mobile and I don’t see a search option for courses 🥲YI
- 0a month agoTech Lead @ Robinhood, Meta, Course Hero
Fto the course isn’t opening in mobile and I don’t see a search option for courses 🥲YI
For iOS in particular, app links don't work 😭. Apple's own documentation about it is broken and outdated.
Search is also very broken, but that's under our control and it's in my backlog to fix it.
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