I Sucked At This For 25 Years As An Engineer – 8 Tips For Communication

Communication is the skill that separates the best engineers from the mediocre ones. 

**Nothing great is built alone**, so even if you’re the best coder in the world, at some point in your career you will have to work with others. When you get to that point, communication is how you get things done. 

Here are 6 tactical communication tips for engineers (and there are two more in the video!)

**1. Learn how to say no. If your PM or manager comes to you with a request, don't just say no.**

Instead, say "not right now" and explain why you're choosing to do other high-priority work. This approach lets you acknowledge the request or the idea, but you’re able to firmly/politely say no by explaining why you want to stay the course. 

**2. Use tentative language**

Especially for critical feedback, leave room for discussion. One way this manifests is during code review: some of the best engineers at Meta actually ended their feedback with a question mark:

"Crash with negative input" ➡️ "Crash with negative input?" One character makes a big difference!

**3. Make people feel heard**

In 1:1s, I’ll literally say "Let me say that back to you" and repeat back what they said to me. This works magically well.

Even if you disagree, this strategy lets you start from a place of agreement -- the person was heard.

**4. Say thank you**

*Proper* thank yous are about more than sending a one-line message. A proper thank you involved thanking them in your launch post or sending them a thank you when you hit a milestone. That's how you build deep relationships.

**5. Advance the conversation**

This is a personal pet peeve for Rahul. If we're talking about where to get lunch, and I propose Indian food, don't just say "I don't like Indian." You need to propose some alternatives in that response. Also, google the ["no hello"](https://nohello.net/) philosophy.

**6. Know your audience**

Many engineers either provide too much or too little context. Communication is an exercise in empathy. You have to figure out what your audience cares about and deliver value to them.

Related links:
- [Taro's communication guide](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/hVdLQQzfslaYarLSCmmy/)
- ["When should you offer to help a colleague?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/u4GMlmLOuaU4Olhh2XAy/when-should-you-offer-to-help-a-colleague/)

Effective Communication Guide [Part 3.1] - The Power Of Thanks

- Alex's story:
  - At Meta, there was a tool called "Thanks Bot" where you could publicly thank a coworker, and it would alert them, their manager, and your manager.
  - Given that this tool was more "heavy", people at Meta tended to use it for thanking fairly large efforts.
  - Alex had a great coworker back at Portal who would use it to thank people whenever they just spent 5-10 minutes helping him with something. This took people by surprise as they weren't expecting such a thanks for something relatively minor.
- Thank people for small and medium sized good deeds, whether they helped you or just did some really good work. Thanks is cheap - You always come out hugely "on top" in interactions where you give thanks: Giving thanks takes a few minutes tops and receiving helping often requires 10+ minutes of the other person's time.
- If someone really went out of their to way to do something great, reach out to their manager and thank them there as well. This really deepens your thanks, and it helps them receive proper credit, which could even be reflected in performance review.

Balancing Time Between Your Job And Self Learning

Many engineers hear about personal projects (side projects) as a way to accelerate career growth but are confused about how to allocate time for these projects. This video covers a few strategies to balance time between your day job and self-learning. 

1. **Avoid a Binary Approach:** Don't view your day job and side projects as completely distinct: ideally, the work you do in one is good for the other. This can manifest not only in terms of the skills you're building, but also your enthusiasm for writing code or understanding a domain in more detail. Productivity and fulfillment are often maximized when one can excel at work and pursue personal projects simultaneously.

2. **Learning Integration:** Integrate your learning from both day job and personal projects. The knowledge gained in one domain can be applied to the other, so you become better at both!

3. **Effective Self-Learning:** Passive content consumption, such as watching videos or reading blog posts without active engagement, is ineffective for learning. Instead, explain concepts to others or build something to truly benefit from self-learning.

4. **Company-Career Mismatch:** In larger organizations, the company's objectives may not always align with individual career goals. The responsibility for your personal career growth is yours -- don't delegate this to the company! That's why you need to invest in self-learning and personal projects to build the skills and experiences necessary that are best for you.

5. **Enjoyable Self-Learning:** Instead of focusing on the balance between work and personal learning, find ways to make self-learning a fun and fulfilling experience. Common ways this manifests: hitting the publish button, seeing the download count on your app go up, or seeing comments on a blog post you wrote.

Like most things career-related, you should take a proactive approach to career development. Self-learning is no different!

Related resources: 

- [\[Masterclass\] How To Build And Grow Tech Products To 500k+ Users For Free](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/OEuX0KMhcnNSTJ50Voee/masterclass-how-to-build-and-grow-tech-products-to-500k-users-for-free/)
- [How should I set time apart for learning new things?](https://www.jointaro.com/question/FjmcvlTJYssSd5wH2pij/how-should-i-set-time-apart-for-learning-new-things/)
- [How Long to Crank Out a Decent Side Project?](https://www.jointaro.com/question/QA6lCGdPpwAd3xRrpjZ7/how-long-to-crank-out-a-decent-side-project/)
-

Grow From Mid-Level To Senior Engineer [Part 2] - Why Is The Senior Promotion So Hard?

For most engineers, going from junior to mid-level isn't too hard with many of them achieving it unintentionally. This leads to them being surprised when the next promotion of mid-level to senior is so painfully difficult. This lesson teaches you:

- The fundamental dynamic shift in skill development going from mid-level to senior
- Why team selection is very important for growing to senior
- The ambiguity of the senior promotion and the 2 broad paths you can take to get there
- The large lagging nature of the senior promotion

Dig deeper into the overall phenomena covered here with the overall promotion course: [\[Course\] Nail Your Promotion As A Software Engineer](https://www.jointaro.com/course/nail-your-promotion-as-a-software-engineer/)

Ace Your Tech Interview As A Software Engineer [Part 2] - Organizing Your Job Search

A lot of software engineers struggle on the job search because they're just randomly flailing around, drifting from interview failure to interview failure without learning from the overall process. This lesson teaches you:

- The surprisingly basic master plan every successful job search must follow
- How to fix a job search where you are failing to get interviews to begin with
- Actions you can take when you are failing to pass interviews
- What a healthy time spent looks like depending on whether you are trying to *get* interviews vs. trying to *pass* interviews
- How you can organize your job search and turn it into a well-oiled machine where you are constantly overcoming obstacles and improving

Avoid This Common Bad Habit That Fails You Interviews

You should allocate enough time to prepare for your data structures and algorithms interview to avoid cramming at the last minute.

Related resources:
- [[Taro Top 10] Effective Interview Prep](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/HLBYxJI7D1j8STolrwum/)
- [[Taro Top 10] Finding A Tech Job](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/E6R0wVJ5EyCfVnVrlfno/)

There Is No Such Thing As A Stupid Question

What is a good amount of time to be stuck before asking a question?

True or false: To prove that you are a good engineer when joining a new team, you should ask as few questions as possible.

What is the optimal amount of questions to ask per week as a junior engineer?

True or false: Asking a lot of questions can help other people in your company and increase your respect within your team.

What are the benefits of asking a lot of good questions?

- There is no such thing as a stupid question: Each question is a genuine request to become more informed about the world.
- If there's a metric to measure your onboarding, it's the amount of questions you ask.
- Don't worry about how you'll look when you ask a question. If you have taken the time [to choose a healthy team](https://link.jointaro.com/WtZRJ5GtEVvAskLh8), they will not think any less of you for asking.
- It's much better to ask questions than to be stuck for days, if not weeks. *If you're completely stuck after 15-30 minutes, just ask the question*.
- If you're asking questions in a public forum (which you should!), you are creating content with your Q&A pair. Not only are you benefiting by getting unblocked, you are having multiplicative impact by creating a useful resource that will help the team across the future.
- *If you are asking questions the right way, people will not get mad at you for asking questions*.

So how do you ask the questions the right way? You can find [our in-depth guide on how to do that here](https://link.jointaro.com/yhEYut43nosKyPYw9).

Onboarding Gives You Special Powers: Make Sure To Use Them

Most people view onboarding as a position of weakness: They don't know anything while the team knows everything, and now they need to bridge that gap. While that's somewhat true, onboarding is *not* a position of weakness, and thinking this will only make your onboarding slower and less effective.

Here are the core points from the video:
- **Nobody wants to be mean to the newbie** - This means that you have extra slack to ask questions and request help more aggressively than the average team member. However, this "aura" doesn't last forever - Make sure to really use it while you have it! The first month in particular is when the team will be extra accommodating of you.
- **You will never have fresh eyes again** - Being new gives you a perspective that tenured members of your team simply can't have. Use this to share new ideas and suggestions to the team: Tactically, you are very well equipped to improve the onboarding process. Don't only view onboarding as a state where you need to be dependent on others and consume help - Feel empowered to bring about positive change as well.

Related resources:
- ["How do you overcome the fear of asking stupid questions / bothering people when you need help?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/vNE8kgpx2zdI1wACg9jA/how-do-you-overcome-the-fear-of-asking-stupid-questions-bothering-people-when-you-need-help/)
- ["What does it mean to not require handholding anymore?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/5vEWajcZlSi7nlohTGtJ/what-does-it-mean-to-not-require-handholding-anymore/)
- ["I'm afraid of asking questions when I don't know how to start a new ticket - How to get over the fear?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/ReLSgQGmVGlXkwrupN5T/im-afraid-of-asking-questions-when-i-dont-know-how-to-start-a-new-ticket-how-to-get-over-the-fear/)

Effective Communication Guide [Part 7] - Finale + How You Can Learn More

- Zooming out, good communication is about *building positive energy*. Sharing feedback to help someone improve, empathizing with people's struggles, giving heartfelt thanks - These all generate positive energy.
- If you're feeling angry or frustrated, take some time to calm down and collect your thoughts, especially if you want to share that in a more public setting. After you've done this, then you can share your problems in a constructive way.
- This series just barely scratches the surface when it comes to communication. If you have any follow-up questions or thoughts, please start a discussion in the Taro forum: <https://www.jointaro.com/questions/create/>

[Case Study] Solving A Multi-Million $$ Instagram Bug

- A big part of moving from L4 (mid-level) to L5 (senior level) is being able to create your own scope. You can't just expect a perfect suite of projects to come from your manager.
- Like in this session's case study, bugs are a great source of finding your own scope!
- The bug was very slight: Instagram story ads started off on the wrong part when they were resurfaced to a user. As an Android engineer, Alex discovered this in IG Android initially. This bug had been in production *for over a year* at this point.
- How Alex expanded the scope after finding this bug:
  - Worked with iOS to see if the bug was there (it was)
  - Worked with PMMs to confirm that this violated the advertiser contract and merited a refund. This made the bug an immediate SEV.
  - Worked with a data scientist to figure out exactly how many times this bug occurred and calculate the exactly refund to advertisers ($2M+)
  - Put the fix behind an A/B test to measure impact and make sure it was working
- How you can incorporate the learnings from this case study:
  - Be detail-oriented. At Big Tech in particular, seemingly small issues can have massive impact.
  - Don't just silently fix bugs. Take the time to figure out its entire scope - It could be a SEV!
  - Understand the world outside of yours. Look for opportunities to bring in others (especially those of different roles) into what you're working on to expand scope for everyone!

Here's the [link to the slides](https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1vPtelhi5caMsZNC-XFGhy1FtRveIbNxg0k3LZctRPOs/edit?usp=sharing).

For more resources around creating scope:
- ["How do I come up with innovative, impactful ideas and bring them to my team?"](https://link.jointaro.com/uBcb5LjZiD5DasfB9)
- ["How can I come up with big initiatives, especially those at a Staff level?"](https://link.jointaro.com/6MWig3VSr3nVo81w9)

Top System Design Interview Mistakes [Part 2] - Don't Jump Headfirst into the Problem

In system design interviews, it's vital to stay focused on the core problem. This video highlights the importance of correctly identifying and addressing the right technical issues:

- Avoid getting sidetracked by irrelevant problems, as shown in the car mechanic analogy
- Successful candidates focus on solving the key issues the interviewer cares about
- Asking clarifying questions helps align with the interviewer's expectations
- We give a demonstration of how a candidate can go wrong by focusing on less important aspects
- We go through an example of a successful candidate who navigates the prompt by staying focused and asking the right questions

If you need extra help with your system design interview, [Formation.dev](https://formation.dev/partners/taro) can provide you hands-on, personalized support. Join us here: <https://formation.dev/partners/taro>

Master The Behavioral Interview [Part 3] - The 3 Keys To Behavioral Interviews

In a behavioral interview, you can say literally anything. So what should you say? This lesson teaches you:

- The 3 keys to any effective behavioral interview answer
- How to specifically show each of the 3 keys
- What a good behavioral interview answer looks like vs. a bad one (hint: the good ones integrates the 3 keys while the bad one doesn't)

To learn how Alex built 30 side projects with 5 million+ users combined: [\[Taro Top 10\] Building Impressive Side Projects](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/vKUWMgmmaEvzcYUXZs4B/)

How To Figure Out If A Team Is Important To A Company

In this age of layoffs, it's important to choose a team and organization that is valued by the company overall. Even ignoring layoffs, it's better to join a team that's mission critical overall due to more career growth opportunities, especially as a software engineer.

Here's the core points from the video:
- **Profit center or cost center** - Does the company see your organization as core to its revenue generation or something it simply needs to have in a digital age? If its the former, that means the organization is probably better for your career:
  - **Profit center example:** The ads/search organization at Google
  - **Cost center example:** Website developers at a dental company
- **Growth trajectory** - In particular, is the organization scaling up its headcount quickly? If so, that shows that it's a company priority, and scope naturally appears when teams get bigger due to higher XFN and alignment costs.
- **Company visibility** - Do execs mention your organization in all-hands meetings? Better yet, is it referenced on earnings calls? The more an organization is mentioned in these more public communications, the better positioned it is within the company.

This clip was taken from our masterclass here: [[Masterclass] How To Choose A Good Company And Team As A Software Engineer](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/0WEmTNZOMIh8xAdfO3JH/masterclass-how-to-choose-a-good-company-and-team-as-a-software-engineer/)

Related resources:
- ["How possible is it to spot red flags about toxic culture during the interview?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/1JwmhC3Nh9Ku0fkDL1bq/how-possible-is-it-to-spot-red-flags-about-toxic-culture-during-the-interview/)
- ["What does it mean to not have enough scope to be promoted?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/bJuagPwOEEy5vkcXKkqh/what-does-it-mean-to-not-have-enough-scope-to-be-promoted/)
- ["What should I look for in a new team in terms of growth?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/i2bOMPrqaRc0NUZ7918F/what-should-i-look-for-in-a-new-team-in-terms-of-growth/) - Question from a Google L4 engineer
- ["Is it better to work in revenue-generating divisions within your company?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/BIv8teCgxktk5tak6tlI/is-it-better-to-work-in-revenue-generating-divisions-within-your-company/)

Effective Communication Guide [Part 4] - Resolving Disagreements

- **Your goal with a disagreement isn't to prove that your side is correct; it's actually the opposite - Try to tear down your own argument.**
- Don't view the situation as a "Us vs. Them" mentality. It's not a debate that you have to "win". If you come in with this mentality, the other side will respond in kind, and you will never get anything done.
- Acknowledge the operating principles and incentives of the other side, and try to weave them into your approach as well.
- Example: Your designer proposes beautiful but overly ambitious design that cannot be done on the current aggressive build timeline.
  - Bad: "We don't have enough time to build these designs, so let's toss them out."
  - Good: "These designs look amazing! However, the timeline is pretty tight, so we may not be able to get everything within them. Can we get the low-hanging fruit with this intermediate state design to hit the ship goal, and then we can get the remaining design extras as a fast-follow? I really want to bring all these aesthetics to life, but I want to make sure we hit the deadline as well."
- Be comfortable with compromise and reaching a middle-ground that imbues something from both sides. It's possible that the other perspective is completely incorrect, but this will be very rare as people in tech are generally pretty smart. *You should very rarely treat your approach as one where compromise cannot be made at all.*

DSA Interview Step #1: Clarify The Problem

- The first step for any data structures and algorithms (DSA) problem is to *clarify the problem*. This means understanding exactly what the input and expected output are.
  - A common failure mode for candidates is that they will jump straight into coding, not doing this step. This leads to them wasting a lot of time writing code that isn't actually relevant.
- Often times in an interview, you will get a purposefully ambiguous problem - This happens with Big Tech a lot. The goal is get signal on the candidate's communication abilities.
- Clarifying the problem can help you *a lot* as it's very possible that the problem's scope is much more limited than you initially thought.

Related resources:
- [[Taro Top 10] Effective Interview Prep](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/HLBYxJI7D1j8STolrwum/)
- [[Taro Top 10] Finding A Tech Job](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/E6R0wVJ5EyCfVnVrlfno/)

Make It Easy For You To Receive Help

True or false: If you ask for help on a coding issue, link the entire repo of the codebase you are working on to be safe. This guarantees that helpers have all the context they need.

What can you do to really sharpen your question before asking it?

"I am having trouble getting a button to appear above an image in my webpage. Can someone help with this?" - Which of the following are questions that should have been anticipated beforehand for this question?

[Masterclass] How To Work Better With Your Engineering Manager

Your engineering manager (EM) is easily the most important figure in your professional life, and how you manage your engineer &lt;-&gt; EM relationships across your various teams and companies will largely dictate how much career growth you have. The tricky part is that all of this is very hard, and if you don't do it properly, you can end up working against your manager instead of with them.

As always, the masterclass covers a *ton* of ground, so here's the Top 5 points:

- **Engineering management is a very hard job** - EMs are completely slammed with meetings and are constantly making hard decisions (e.g. *"Who do I hire and fire?"*). The first step towards fostering a healthy relationship here is having empathy for the natural difficulty behind their role.
- **It's up to YOU to leverage your manager** - Don't expect your manager to solo-carry you by proactively identifying all your issues and handing you the perfect growth plan on a silver platter. Nobody can read minds, and nobody cares about your personal growth more than you. Treat your manager as a resource, similar to how a front-end application treats an API. The API will never come to you - It's up to you to call it with the proper parameters to achieve the result you want.
- **Be extremely visible** - Be default, assume that your EM has 0 clue what you're doing, not out of malice but because they're swamped most of the time. cc your manager on important communications to keep them up-to-date with your biggest accomplishments and blockers. Add them as optional on meetings. Use your 1 on 1 to share crucial wins and status updates.
- **Maintain an ongoing dialog about performance** - Your performance review rating should never be a (negative) surprise. Ask every couple months for your manager to give you a hypothetical rating (make it clear that you will take it with a massive grain of salt). Don't let your fear of these awkward, transparent conversations lead to you getting put on an unexpected PIP.
- **Frame promotion as a mutual benefit** - It is not the manager's job to grow their engineers and get them all promoted; this is actually literally impossible in the current economy. It's the manager's job to make sure that their engineers are consistently shipping impact. This means that you must be extremely careful framing your promotion in a way where it's clear that your goal is to expand your impact and further empower the team, not to get more money and a higher title (it's totally fine to want these, they just have to be very far away from front and center).

Related resources:

- [Having The Proper Mentality For Manager 1 on 1s](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/sIm7s54ILdBQmpCtKFtb/having-the-proper-mentality-for-manager-1-on-1s/)
- [1 on 1s Are The Time To Be Awkward](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/xjeFRpp5YHxG9TTK8wjn/1-on-1s-are-the-time-to-be-awkward/)
- ["How do I create a growth plan with my manager/mentor and what should it include?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/BG4rWlnWQamBFI9ujCni/how-do-i-create-a-growth-plan-with-my-managermentor-and-what-should-it-include/)
- ["How do I give critical feedback to my manager?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/VeGFF3JbpstS3Av5jpHB/how-do-i-give-critical-feedback-to-my-manager/)
- [\[Masterclass\] What Software Engineers Should Look For In Their Engineering Manager](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/oeY7ncZhzJ5NO6dij5e7/masterclass-what-software-engineers-should-look-for-in-their-engineering-manager/)
- [Presentation Slides](https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1zS7GJQmpZRS-fo-ZiiV5cHjdat9gHStPFVnA0awlFM0/edit?usp=sharing)

How To REALLY Say Thank You To Coworkers

Most software engineers struggle with building relationships and professional networking overall. One of the ways to get better at this is improving an often-neglected skill: Giving thanks. This video covers one of the most powerful ways to give thanks in the workplace.

Here are the core points:
- **Reward good work through their manager** - As an authority figure, praise coming from your manager is especially meaningful and it's a great experience when it happens. Spend effort adding weight to your feedback when you tell their manager by writing a heartfelt paragraph or telling them in person (this is really easy when you share the same manager as the peer, which is often the case). Thanking the helper directly yourself first is the first step: This manager reinforcement step is what really makes them realize, *"Wow, this person **really** wants to make sure I get rewarded for my efforts."*
- **Boost your peers' performance reviews** - At a higher level, you really earn your way into coworkers' hearts when they attribute you to a boost in their own performance rating. This is especially true at top companies like FAANG which have such a high-bar for engineer performance and good ratings are connected to very meaningful raises and promotions. If someone is helping you on a recurring basis, you can even explicitly tell their manager that you really hope they get rewarded on their performance review for uplifting you and really multiplying your impact. *Fight for the credit you ardently believe they deserve.*

Related resources:
- [Effective Communication Guide - Building Relationships](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/488EjOLzU707WhdqMOK4/effective-communication-guide-part-3-building-relationships/)
- ["How do you network effectively within a company?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/DwT9GtdYK9nwFV3a7jrU/how-do-you-network-effectively-within-a-company/)

What Rockstar Engineers Realize About Managers That Others Don't

- Don't view your manager as just a boss. It's true that they have authority over you, but they are *also a resource for you*.
- This means that there's also a burden on you to find out how your manager can best support and empower you.
  - What skills do you want to grow?
  - Which projects are on their top of mind and therefore have the great impact?
- This working model is best for everyone. You are essentially finding out how you can be the most effective and impactful report for your manager as possible. Your manager gets a more empowered and efficient team, and you get career growth.

Building Software For Optimal Learning Example - Login Flow

A lot of junior engineers wonder why they have working software projects on their resume but aren't able to get a job. 99% of the time, it's because the projects they have built aren't anywhere near production quality.

This video covers an in-depth, concrete example of how you can level up a feature to be truly impressive in a portfolio:
- Bad login flow (bare minimum only):
  - Email input
  - Password input
  - Submit button which probably stores inputs on the server
- Good login flow (additional components on top of the above)
  - Ability to view the password in plaintext
  - Confirm password
  - Validate email
  - Password strength protections
  - "Forgot your password?" flow
  - Password hashing
  - Login attempt throttling

Related resources:
- [[Masterclass] How To Learn Quickly In Tech](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/u9ldIvrTvV1wfWExccDR/masterclass-how-to-learn-quickly-in-tech/) - The full video this clip was taken from
- [How The Best Software Engineers Learn - The Lego Model](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/9cVK5zsAQstbTCc1wrWx/how-the-best-software-engineers-learn-the-lego-model/)

Tech Career Growth Videos

Our instructional videos provide software engineers with insights needed for career growth. Masterclasses go incredibly in-depth on a specific tech topic while case studies are real examples from established engineering leaders.