How Do People Retain So Much Info Without Taking Notes in Software Jobs?

Question

I’ve noticed this across several roles now: in meetings, 1:1s, onboarding sessions, people seem to just remember things without writing anything down. Personally, I find that impossible. I either have to take notes or record the conversation (which usually isn’t allowed), or the info just vanishes. But if I take notes, I sometimes miss key points because I’m writing instead of listening.

As someone who’s still ramping up, I often feel like I’m choosing between capturing information and being fully present in the discussion. I’m curious:

Do most engineers just internalize things without writing them down?
How do others strike a balance between staying engaged and retaining details?
Has anyone found workflows (manual or tool-assisted) that actually work in real-time?

Would love to hear how others manage this without falling behind.

Alex Chiou · Accepted Answer

I personally don't 😅. I'm an extremely prolific writer as anybody who's ever worked with me will tell you. If I don't write it down, there's a 50%+ chance I'll forget it. I talk more about the writing muscle I built at Meta (which was one of my strongest traits) here: "Tips for someone with poor working memory?"

How do others strike a balance between staying engaged and retaining details?

Unless you have great memory, you simply need to get good at "dual-braining" where you're both listening and writing things down at the same time. This is something I've gotten really good at (so many people I have 1 on 1s with will comment about this during a meeting). In terms of getting good at it, there's really no magic here:

Put in the reps - If you aren't talking in a meeting, you should be writing. Burn this into your brain.
Make the body language instinctual - A lot of listening is more about conveying a certain perception through physical body language. As people are talking (especially in 1 on 1s), make sure show that body language across slightly nodding regularly, having a furrowed brow, and emotionally reacting with your eyes/mouth (e.g. if they say something funny, have your eyes wide open and smile). For charismatic people (i.e. not me and not most software engineers), this comes naturally. But if you're very introverted, you will initially need to mentally tell your body to do this. The good news is that over time, it will become natural (which it has for me). If you make your body do something 100+ times in certain scenarios, it will get burned into your muscle memory.
Master the polite interruption to buy time - If you're falling behind on notes, you can say something like, "Sorry, can you repeat that? It was extremely insightful, and I just want to make sure I fully understand it". This makes the speaker feel good about themselves while buying you more time to take notes.

In the beginning, this will all feel painful, but if you have grit and keep persisting, it'll eventually all feel like breathing. It's similar to athletic strength training, but mental.

How Do People Retain So Much Info Without Taking Notes in Software Jobs?

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