Having The Proper Mentality For Manager 1 on 1s

True or false: Your manager is your superior, so it is on them to ask the right questions and figure out what you need in your 1 on 1 meetings. You just need to show up on time.

Why is the burden on you to set the agenda and overall plan with your manager 1 on 1s?

True or false: It is better for your career growth to view your manager as being a resource for you instead of you being a resource for your manager.

True or false: A good manager 1 on 1 involves you giving status updates and then waiting for instruction on what to do next.

- *Your manager is a resource for you.*
- Don't just see your manager as a source of authority that gives you work. While this is true to some extent, having this mentality really holds back your growth.
- Go into your manager 1 on 1s with a plan on how you can extract the most value from them.
  - This onus is on you to set the agenda for this meeting, so you can get insights from your manager on how to best improve yourself. Let them know about this agenda beforehand, so they can think about how to best help you with each point.
  - Another way of seeing this is how can you make your manager's life easier. By setting the stage for your manager, you lower the barrier for them helping you as they don't need to figure out exactly what your work life looks like and what problems you have.
- A common failure mode for earlier-in-career engineers going into manager 1 on 1s is they go in, give a status update on what they're doing, and wait for more work to be given to them.

Related resources:

- [\[Masterclass\] How To Have Impactful 1 on 1 Meetings](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/FEK6JZqW2Jg3rdN9yeGn/masterclass-how-to-have-impactful-1-on-1-meetings/)
- [\[Course\] Effective Communication For Engineers](https://www.jointaro.com/course/effective-communication-for-engineers/)

Why Infrequent Manager 1 on 1s Severely Hurt Your Career

True or false: Delayed and infrequent manager 1 on 1s can seriously affect your career growth long-term.

Why is it crucial to have frequent, consistent 1 on 1 meetings with your manager?

Recurring one-on-ones act as a safeguard against the buildup of unresolved issues and help maintain consistent focus on career development and workplace health.

- **Prevents goal procrastination**: Infrequent one-on-ones make it easy to delay important but uncomfortable topics like career growth. Weekly cadence creates timely check-ins that keep development top of mind.
- **Creates built-in accountability**: Knowing a one-on-one is coming up each week reinforces reflection on progress and keeps both parties aligned on priorities and goals.
- **Maintains workplace “cleanliness”**: Like cleaning a home regularly, weekly meetings prevent work challenges from piling up. When issues are cleared consistently, the work environment stays healthy and manageable.
- **Supports better quality of work life**: Regular check-ins help address interpersonal or project-related friction early, reducing stress and misalignment over time.
- **Reduces communication lag**: By clearing the "trash" of misunderstandings or confusion regularly, one-on-ones create a more fluid and responsive working relationship.

What To Do If Your Manager Keeps Canceling Your 1 on 1s

Your manager keeps canceling your 1 on 1s due to a perceived lack of discussion topics, even though you always have a lot to talk about. What do you do?

Your manager cancels your upcoming 1 on 1 meeting due to an unexpected, new fire that they have to deal with. However, you have a lot of important issues to talk about. What do you do?

Proactively managing recurring one-on-ones is crucial, especially given the inherent power and time imbalance between managers and their direct reports.

- **Acknowledge the power dynamic**: Managers are often busier and have more reports, which can lead to frequent cancellations. Recognizing this helps frame a constructive response.
- **Use a shared running doc**: If a meeting is about to be canceled due to “nothing to talk about,” reference specific bullet points in a shared one-on-one document to demonstrate the agenda and keep the meeting on the calendar.
- **Reschedule thoughtfully**: When a cancellation is due to emergencies or time constraints, acknowledge the situation but follow up by proposing specific alternative time slots based on their availability.
- **Reduce their friction**: Make it easy for the manager to say yes by combining two key tactics—propose a concrete reschedule and provide the meeting agenda in advance.
- **Leverage career growth principles**: Just like with asking for support or promotions, simplifying the decision-making for your manager increases the chances of success and strengthens your working relationship.

Structuring Your Manager 1 on 1

If you are working in a strong, high-growth tech company, what is a good frequency to meet with your manager?

True or false: Managers are extremely busy, so it is best to have ad-hoc 1 on 1 meetings with them based on whenever they are able to find a sliver of free time.

Weekly one-on-ones with your manager are essential for staying aligned, especially in high-growth tech environments where priorities shift quickly.

- **Weekly cadence is ideal**: Aim to meet with your manager every week; bi-weekly is acceptable at most. Anything less frequent than that is considered a red flag for team communication and alignment.
- **30-minute standard**: A 30-minute weekly meeting strikes the right balance—long enough to discuss key topics, but short enough to stay focused and avoid bloat.
- **Avoid reactive scheduling**: Don’t wait until problems arise to schedule one-on-ones. Recurring meetings prevent misalignment and build a strong, consistent feedback loop.
- **Proactive relationship management**: Regular one-on-ones foster stronger relationships, clearer communication, and better support between you and your manager.

How To Discover Your Work Passions And Hatreds

Which of the following should you do to discover your work passion?

What of these is a legitimate, strong sign that something is a work passion for you?

- *Regularly take time to reflect on how much you enjoy your work, especially when you're earlier-in-career*.
- Write down everything you do. Here are some examples of common things software engineers do:
  - Writing code
  - Reviewing code
  - Meetings
  - Working with JIRA
  - Talking with cross-functional stakeholders
  - Fixing bugs
- Split all the items into 3 buckets:
  - Things you genuinely enjoy: Tasks/behaviors you are excited to do and can lose track of time doing them.
  - Neutral: Things you can do a good amount of, but in the end, you do it for work.
  - Chores: You *only* do it for work, and you actively try to minimize doing these as much as possible.
- From the top bucket (enjoyment bucket), try to craft your work life around that.

Related resources about soul searching and find your own path:
- ["I feel like senior engineers tend to focus on a specific area. How can I pick a specialization that's still relevant in 5-10 years?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/xFEhcvfbJ2P0pYzZ4r6f/i-feel-like-senior-engineers-tend-to-focus-on-a-specific-area-how-can-i-pick-a-specialization-thats-still-relevant-in-5-10-years/)
- [[Masterclass] How To Choose A Good Company And Team As A Software Engineer](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/0WEmTNZOMIh8xAdfO3JH/masterclass-how-to-choose-a-good-company-and-team-as-a-software-engineer/)

1 on 1s Are The Time To Be Awkward

Why should you be awkward and even a little bit uncomfortable in 1 on 1 meetings?

True or false: 1 on 1 meetings are great for staying in sync, so status updates are one of the best things you can talk about during them.

Which of the following are good things to talk about in 1 on 1 meetings?

The 1 on 1 meeting is one of the most important usages of time in the workplace. Even the most junior engineer will generally have at least a 1 on 1 meeting series with their engineering manager. However, 1 on 1 meetings are often completely wasted by software engineers - Here's how to avoid that.

Here are the core points from the video:

- 1 on 1 meetings are the most inefficient way to communicate anything that is non-controversial
  - The main culprit here is detailed status updates. If you're using the majority of the time to share these and talk tactics, you are doing 1:1s wrong.
- The most effective way to leverage 1:1s is to talk about things that are *awkward and maybe even make you uncomfortable*. Here are some examples of "awkward" topics:
  - Feedback to improve
  - Emotions (both positive and negative)

Related resources:

- [\[Course\] Effective Communication For Engineers](https://www.jointaro.com/course/effective-communication-for-engineers/)
- [The Art of the Awkward 1:1](https://medium.com/@mrabkin/the-art-of-the-awkward-1-1-f4e1dcbd1c5c)

Building Software For Optimal Learning Example - Login Flow

A lot of junior engineers wonder why they have working software projects on their resume but aren't able to get a job. 99% of the time, it's because the projects they have built aren't anywhere near production quality.

This video covers an in-depth, concrete example of how you can level up a feature to be truly impressive in a portfolio:
- Bad login flow (bare minimum only):
  - Email input
  - Password input
  - Submit button which probably stores inputs on the server
- Good login flow (additional components on top of the above)
  - Ability to view the password in plaintext
  - Confirm password
  - Validate email
  - Password strength protections
  - "Forgot your password?" flow
  - Password hashing
  - Login attempt throttling

Related resources:
- [[Masterclass] How To Learn Quickly In Tech](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/u9ldIvrTvV1wfWExccDR/masterclass-how-to-learn-quickly-in-tech/) - The full video this clip was taken from
- [How The Best Software Engineers Learn - The Lego Model](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/9cVK5zsAQstbTCc1wrWx/how-the-best-software-engineers-learn-the-lego-model/)

2 Ways To 100x Your Productivity That Nobody Does

What are the 2 underutilized but straightforward ways of becoming far more productive?

True or false: Often times you should sacrifice sleep and exercise in order to get more hours, thereby becoming more productive.

Why is it absolutely necessary to get in good sleep and regular exercise no matter what?

- The 2 core pillars of productivity are a consistent, good night's sleep and regular exercise (3-5 times a week).
- "I don't have time for that" is not a real excuse. There are thing you *make* time for. Nobody says they stopped brushing their teeth to become more productive: That is an example of something everyone makes time for. Sleep and exercise are the same way.
- The math doesn't check out for sacrificing these. It doesn't matter if you have more hours in a day from doing this if your rate of getting things done is very low. And it will be low if you are constantly sleep deprived and not physically fit.

The First Thing You Need To Do To Set Yourself Up For Promotion

Which of the following is the foundation for your promotion plan?

Why is understanding your strengths so important towards your tech career growth?

Don't Waste Your 1 on 1s. Build The Relationship

Why should you build the relationship in 1 on 1 meetings?

True or false: Small talk is okay in 1 on 1 meetings to break the ice and learn more about the other person's life outside of work.

Why are deep relationships needed in tech, especially at senior levels?

One-on-one meetings are a foundational tool for building trust and social capital within a company. Especially in medium to large organizations, relationships drive execution—and one-on-ones provide a structured, intentional space to cultivate those relationships.

- **Build social capital early**: Scheduling one-on-ones with key teammates—engineers, designers, PMs, and adjacent team managers—early on helps lay the groundwork for future collaboration. This “trust bank” can be drawn on when challenges inevitably arise.
- **Treat relationships as human endeavors**: There's no formula for connection. These conversations are opportunities to build real understanding, not just to exchange project updates.
- **Welcome small talk, especially at first**: In early one-on-ones, light conversation about emotions, hobbies, and general well-being helps establish rapport. This human connection builds the trust needed for deeper collaboration later.
- **Shift toward deeper conversations over time**: Once a working relationship is more established, focus should evolve toward more meaningful topics—emotions, motivations, and work challenges—while still leaving space for the personal.
- **Listen with genuine care**: The most effective relationships are built on authentic interest. It’s not enough to ask personal questions—true connection comes from caring about and following up on what others share.

By using one-on-ones intentionally and empathetically, it's possible to create strong, lasting connections that enhance both individual performance and team effectiveness.

Not Getting Stuff Done? Find Someone To Call You Out

Why are accountability partners so helpful when it comes to productivity?

True or false: A good accountability partner is willing to shame you a bit sometimes.

How do good accountability partners help with excuses?

- Finding an accountability partner is one of the most powerful ways you can shore up your productivity.
  - You can understand your own potential when you see what your peers can do
  - They can offer help when you're feeling low or stuck
- Humans inherently don't like letting other people down: We're a social species. Just having someone who's expecting or even counting on you to make decent progress regularly makes you far more motivated to actually get stuff done out of fear of disappointing them.

Related resources:
- ["How do you network effectively within a company?"](https://link.jointaro.com/Hr1nr53D7sfQAEv3A)
- ["How can I better network with other software engineers in the Bay Area?"](https://link.jointaro.com/42JLsbppRMwAJAPUA)

Make Sure To Do This To Get Full Credit For Your Work

On top of doing the work, what else do you need to do in order to get full credit for what you are doing?

True or false: It is bad to give more public status updates for your project as it will come across as looking for attention.

Why should you not feel icky when you are properly broadcasting the status of your project?

Core points:
- *You don't get credit automatically for doing good work, especially if you work in a large company.*
- It is vital that you bring visibility to your work and claim credit for jobs well done in project updates, meetings, and other more public avenues.
- You may feel "icky" for sharing status updates - Don't! If your work is truly important, than it's worth sharing about and keeping the team in the loop. If you don't feel like your work is important, then you have a separate problem you need to address.
- Use project updates to thank others! Treat it as a mechanism to build social capital.

Related resources on how to write concise, impressive project updates:
- ["How can a painfully introverted person increase their visibility and promote themselves?"](https://link.jointaro.com/3XHsUifABjyN3Tq98) - From a SWE intern at Google
- ["How to get more visibility on work?"](https://link.jointaro.com/aQUHxnsNAJVcRgth6) - From a junior engineer [E3] at Meta

How The Best Software Engineers Learn A Tech Stack - The Lego Model

- "The Lego Model" is a way to view the world and understand your learning journey as a software engineer.
  - Technical components (e.g. rendering a list of items) are the individual legos
  - Complete products (e.g. a food delivery app) are the full lego creations
- There are 3 axes to evaluate your legos:
  - **Quantity:** How many you have
  - **Quality:** How good and sturdy your legos are
  - **Commonality:** How "in demand" your legos are (i.e. how many creations they can fit into)
- Most earlier-in-career engineers understand the 1st axis of quantity and incorrectly spend a lot of time learning different tech stacks and frameworks.
- Those same engineers often don't even realize the 2nd and 3rd axes exist:
  - When they learn a component, they will build it out with very low quality.
  - They will learn "flashier" components that aren't even used by most products/companies.

For examples on how to excel at the 2nd and 3rd axes, check out the related resources below!

Related resources:
- [[Masterclass] How To Learn Quickly In Tech](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/u9ldIvrTvV1wfWExccDR/masterclass-how-to-learn-quickly-in-tech/) - The full video this clip came from
- [This Is How Software Engineers Should Initially Learn](https://link.jointaro.com/iVBpCaB6pAHivhdi6)
- [Building Software For Optimal Learning Example - Login Flow](https://link.jointaro.com/oEkTB3pskKH6JHCX6)

Common Scenarios For Setting Up 1 on 1s

What is the main condition to look out for that could prompt you to set up new 1 on 1 meetings?

Which of the following scenarios is something you probably should set up some new 1 on 1 meetings for?

1 on 1s are meetings for the 2 people involved to connect and build a longer-term relationship. Here are 3 common scenarios where it makes a ton of sense to set up a 1 on 1:

1. **Incoming new hires**: Help the new person on the team feel welcome and get them onboarded
2. **You being the new hire**: When you're new, 1:1s help you build up valuable context and relationships from talking to existing teammates. Use your "new"-ness to setup meetings with anyone who might be relevant to your job [as described here](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/xwldhYelyOFLjogs7RVA/onboarding-gives-you-special-powers-make-sure-to-use-them/)
3. **Working with a new team**: If you have a long-term relationship with a partner from another team, it could be worthwhile to setup a recurring one on one with them

Finding The Best Environment For Learning

True or false: The best way to level up is to join a team where you are the absolute strongest and know more than everybody. This way, you will get made the lead by default.

Why is it good to be the dumbest person in the room?

How can you really level up your skills building within a tech stack you are already familiar with?

The best environment for learning as a software engineer is one where you can get feedback and grow each day.

What Makes A Good Growth Environment For Promotion

Which of the following is a great way to increase your scope?

True or false: It is good to work in a company where there are constantly too many problems to solve.

Why is there always a plentiful supply of problems to solve in high-growth tech companies?

Start Your Day By Eating The Frog

When it comes to productivity, what is eating the frog?

True or false: To ease into your day, the best thing to do when you wake up is something easy and fun like checking your Instagram.

Easy Tactics You Can Apply Today To Increase Your Focus

Which of these are valid tactics to minimize the distraction from your phone?

True or false: As an engineer, it is important for you to attend every possible meeting so you can know everything that is going on, therefore empowering your productivity.

As a software engineer, why is it crucial to reject meetings when possible?

Maximize your focus and productivity as a software engineer by minimizing any distractions.

Suppress Your Instincts And Treat All Feedback As A Gift

True or false: If you get a piece of feedback, you should initially assume good intent and that it is correct.

What should be your immediate reaction when you get a piece of constructive feedback?

True or false: If you get feedback that you do not believe is 100% correct, you should just ignore it.

Which of the following are good things you can do when you get a piece of feedback that you genuinely believe is not constructive and is phrased in a harmful way?

True or false: One of the most straightforward ways to grow in tech is to just immediately incorporate every piece of feedback you get.

- **Don't be defensive at all when receiving feedback unless it is entirely incorrect.**
- If you have taken the time to find a supportive team, the vast majority of feedback you receive (95%+) will be correct and have value.
- Feedback is a gift and arguably the greatest gift you can possibly receive for your career. *One of the most common attributes among top performer engineers is that they take and apply feedback extremely well.*
- Have empathy for the feedback giver. They probably feel a bit awkward as they're unsure how you're going to receive the feedback. Make them feel comfortable after they share the feedback by thanking them immediately and earnestly.
- Write down all great feedback you receive and try to convert it into action items:
  - **Example:** "I feel like you could be more active in meetings." -> I will try to say at least 1 thing in every team meeting from now on.
- If you get feedback you genuinely believe is incorrect and hurtful:
  - Talk to your manager if you don't have a good relationship with that person.
  - If you feel comfortable enough to talk with that person directly, have a crucial conversation.

Related resources:
- ["How can I find more opportunities to grow when I'm getting very little real feedback?"](https://link.jointaro.com/TzKmgN5nLnLyXJ5G6)
- ["Everyone's telling me I'm doing great - How do I get actionable, constructive feedback?"](https://link.jointaro.com/ng6MUQy2yUfS8w4e8)
- [Effective Communication Guide - Giving Feedback](https://link.jointaro.com/VsQvnzsnJbbXUQDy6)

1 on 1 Meetings Are An Exercise In Proactivity

Why should you err on the side of creating a 1 on 1 meeting instead of waiting for it to be absolutely necessary?

True or false: Team meetings are more important than 1 on 1 meetings, so you should create them more aggressively for everyone to stay in sync.

Being proactive about setting up one-on-one meetings helps build strong relationships and avoid costly misalignments down the line.

- **Default to setting them up**: It’s better to create a recurring one-on-one and cancel it later than to realize too late that it was needed.
- **Low time cost, high value**: One-on-ones only use two people’s time, making them much less costly than poorly-run team meetings.
- **Prevent bigger issues**: Skipping one-on-ones can lead to being misaligned with key collaborators, which may cause serious problems later in a project.
- **Sync early with core stakeholders**: Especially in cross-functional teams or shared ownership scenarios, early and regular one-on-ones help prevent misunderstandings and build trust.

Tech Career Growth Videos

Our instructional videos provide software engineers with insights needed for career growth. Masterclasses go incredibly in-depth on a specific tech topic while case studies are real examples from established engineering leaders.