How to have "good" opinions in meetings?

This is an interesting question and I will jump in to answer this one. I used to be the quiet one in meetings, and would only speak when spoken to, or if I was 1000% sure of what I was going to say. This clearly didn't bring me the right visibility. That changed as I grew as an engineer, and learnt how to ask good questions and voice out my opnions.

Here are a few things that I did and continue to do:

1. It is okay to ask a question, that you may perceive as "not important", as someone else may also be thinking of it, but may hesitate to ask.
2. Leverage chatGPT initially to frame questions in a crisp and clear way, it will then come to you naturally.
3. I would really take in the context and listen to the discussions paying attention to detail, make notes ,and say, I am not sure if we have already discussed this, but have you thought of .... ?
4. Practice, practice, practice by speaking up, that is the only way to get comfortable asking questions and sharing your opinion.

Here are few resources on Taro that will be helpful:

1. https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/YIL3iK8fmSwhWP0PASqe/asking-questions-is-not-a-sign-of-weakness/
2. https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/FEK6JZqW2Jg3rdN9yeGn/masterclass-how-to-have-impactful-1-on-1-meetings/ -> Presenting opinions to your manager

There's a few things that might be able to help you gain the confidence to speak out:

1. You can explain your full line of thinking behind how you came up with your opinion. People will be able to clearly follow your thought process and acknowledge that your opinion makes sense given the assumptions that you provided.
2. You can give tradeoffs between selecting different options. You can take it one step further and suggest the best option based on what you are trying to prioritize.

The articulation of the thought process is the most important thing because it shows you are really thinking about all of the different cases. At the end of the day, the first opinion you give might not be the best, but you put the different cases out there for you and your team to think about. This will help start the conversation towards finding the best solution to your problem.

I think a big misconception that most engineers have (heck, even most people overall have) is that what you say (i.e. the ideas and concepts that come out of your mouth) is the only thing that matters. Their belief is that in order to add value to a conversation, you need to have some genius insight or be 100% right. This is simply untrue. What's just as important and maybe even more important is how you say something.

A big example is tentative language. Here's an example:

• Bad: "This is the right thing to do."
• Good: "I think we should do this."

When you make it clear that this is just an opinion of yours and not some bold, arrogant statement of fact, people are much more receptive to your ideas.

Another tactic is self-deprecation. I use this all the time with areas I'm unsure about:

• Without self-deprecation: "Here's my idea."
• With self-deprecation: "This feels -200 IQ, but what about we try this?"

This signals to everyone that you're very aware of the fact that your idea might have a ton of holes. It shows humility and also adds a lighthearted nature to the conversation. Similar to tentative language, it greatly increases the chance of your peers respecting what you have to say and viewing you as someone who's trying to help instead of just some "dumb" person.

It's not just the words either - Body language is a big factor too! Are you smiling and having fun or do you look scared or even sad? Are you leaning back, leaning forward, or sitting up straight with a back as stiff as a board? All of these contribute to the vibe you exude in meetings and how likely it is your team will take you seriously. I cover all of this in my Effective Communication course: [Course] Effective Communication For Engineers

Here's another excellent thread on the topic: "How can I be more active in meetings and earn the respect of senior engineers?"

I think the most important risk to be aware of is that by speaking up you either demonstrate you know what’s going on in the meeting, what the other people are trying to accomplish, and how it all ladders up to the team and company goals OR not.

But by asking questions and listening first you figure that out before making an assertion or suggestion. By explaining your point clearly and concisely you have the highest chance of it making sense while respecting the time of people in the meeting. And by being either tentative, or 100% speaking in line with the direct goals of the other folks in the meeting and therefore being assertive, then you can’t really go wrong for throwing something out there