Background -
I have been devOps engineer for 1.6 years and SRE (SRE2) for another 1.6 years at different org. I was essentially put in PIP and had to resign. Reason stated for PIP was that I had spikes of performance at the level hired, but wasn't enough.
I was the best performer in my previous org, had to learn everything from scratch about devOps on the job. Got pretty good at it, earning multiple spot awards and mid year increments. I switched to new job with very huge hike (my pay was pretty low in prev org) and was excited to contribute. But, the behavior of my manager, the fact that I wasn't able to connect with my team on a level I wanted, not that interesting work under the hood and that there were no deadlines or push to do work, resulted in low performance. Within few days of joining, I lost all motivation to do anything for my team. My procrastination levels went on a peak.
I recently got diagnosed with moderate depression and anxiety and low sense of self worth. I knew this was always there, but it didn't come up much in my previous org, I could rely on my manager there, struggled hard to persist and make a mark and my procrastination was overridden by my quest to prove myself and the fact that everyday I used to think - I struggled the whole last week, if I leave, it would all be to waste! My back being against the wall, I came out swinging since there was no other way in my mind.
I want to change my field because I have been in this for more than 3 years and it isn't fun anymore, I don't learn or use my brain much and I find myself not so technically smart apart from knowing tooling!
With all this, I am seeking answers to the following -
PS - Already went through this answer, but in need of more clarity - https://link.jointaro.com/NLv7FAfWwxq4iGUm9
Thank you for your points, Sai. I'll take them into consideration here on out. On point 5, yes, that's being worked upon, but I am still without any paycheck and can't go for not sure how long without it