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How to overcome familial pressure when aiming higher?

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Software Engineer at Taro Community2 months ago

This is quite personal, but I'm experiencing issues when it comes to talking to family members about my career progression.

I have aspirations to be X level and work at Y company and I convey these aspirations to my family members.

But their responses are generally discouraging that I am taking too many risks and that I'm already overprivileged and should be happy with where I am.

Due to both of my parent's upbringing, their top aspiration for me was to own a house (unlike them) and too not fall into drugs & alcohol (like other family members & people from their hometowns).

I know this is an exceedingly heavy situation to navigate and any advice would be much appreciated.



  • 3
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    Engineer @ Robinhood
    2 months ago

    Just stop talking to them about it and tell them only when you're successfully hitting those aspirations. If they're not as receptive to them now that you're an adult, this will likely not change. But what can change is the time and effort you put into yourself and your aspirations.

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    Team Lead (people manager) at Mistplay
    2 months ago

    It really sucks when people close to us don’t understand what we care about or what we can do.

    But want to +1 what Jonathan is saying: if someone is supportive of you or not, no need to tell them what your dreams are, just do it. (Unless it’s your manager, or your closest friend and you’re scared of failing, etc). Talking about dreams that you haven’t accomplished triggers the reward center in your brain as if you’ve done them already and then since you already got the reward you’re less likely to do them.