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Should I stay or should I leave?

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Anonymous User at Taro Communitya year ago

Hey Everyone, would there be interest in a topic, on how to attract a sponsor who is invested in your growth at least 1/10 as much as we are.

Over the years, I have realized in addition to being sincere and making an impact, we need the right projects to make an impact and the right people to take notice. I feel like I cannot catch a break.

I have been able to uplevel and switch, get an upper level from tier 2 -> FAANG (L5), and stayed there for many years. Thriving. Until my project was canned, and I was laid off.

My current team is at a tier 2 company, and I have already made significant impact, but my manager is hung up on some negative feedback that was given to me early on (3 quarters ago) The current staff even insidiously tried taking away my projects from me. I stood up for myself and got the project back with my managers help.

I have good feedback, on PR, good velocity and mentoring engineers to uplevel. But my manager is still biased.

I strongly believe that actions speak louder than words. Would love to know the series of master classes that can help me with Me and your advice.

Would love to know your thoughts on this when is it time to stay and focus on growth or when is it time to move on and start afresh ?

My eventual goal is L6 at Google / Netflix / Meta - Adjacent



  • 1
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    Head of Engineering at Capgemini
    a year ago

    Before I provide my advice on what to do in your situation, a bit of background on when I faced a similar situation, so that my suggestions are properly contextualized.


    I've had a situation like his early on in my career where I was bent on making the "next level" since I had been exceeding expectations at my current level and already operating at the next level for about 9 months. I pushed hard on all fronts both in terms of building my case for promotion internally and seeking out a more senior role externally in parallel. In spite of the result working out exceptionally (I got the promotion internally and offered an even better position externally, so I left), I would handle the situation very differently today. I could have obtained the same result with less turmoil (i.e. I leaned too heavily on my market value externally, which fractured some relationships).

    Suggested Approach:

    Like others have said, focus on what your leadership would like to see to get promoted rather than using the threat of quitting as a catalyst. Invest in alignment while pushing back on certain aspects if you have clear rationale such as level of impact (mention you'll need bigger scope) or timeline (like in my situation where I've already been doing the next level job for 9 months and doing it beyond 1-1.5 years would be the max). Document heavily once the alignment is there and I think it's a good idea to socialize it beyond your immediate manager (with their consent and alignment of course) with your skip level and other critical decision makers on the promotion panel. Update the document as results flow in and make it a habit to review the document together with your manager in your 1-1s.

    You are free to pursue some external opportunities as well in parallel like I did to get an accurate read on your marketability / market value. Just make sure to manage your capacity accordingly and not burn out. It's very difficult IMO to play for a promotion at work while aggressively seeking other opportunities, as there's a chance both are compromised if not handled properly. If you get a better role externally, you can certainly consider accepting it like I did.

    In terms of how to evaluate the opportunity if you get one, see my response on another question linked below.

    An additional resource: Your question is the "macro" version of a similar question another Taro user asked on whether to switch teams. Many parts of my answer still applies for your situation.

  • 0
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    Tech Lead @ Robinhood, Meta, Course Hero
    a year ago

    ...but my manager is hung up on some negative feedback that was given to me early on (3 quarters ago)

    So my initial instinct is to treat feedback as a gift (which can be painful) as I talk about here: Suppress Your Instincts And Treat All Feedback As A Gift

    With that, I would spend some time looking inward and see if you have truly addressed all that feedback from before. If you believe that you have, then you might need to have a crucial conversation about it with your manager to align. I highly recommend this in-depth thread for inspiration there: "My manager and I don't see eye-to-eye. How can I improve this relationship?"

    Should I stay or should I leave?

    My approach is this:

    1. Make a genuine effort to improve the relationship with your manager
    2. If #1 fails and you feel like your situation is toxic, then leave. No job is worth your mental health!